Football Widow

We got a great deal when we switched to digital cable. Just $9.99/mo for all the movie channels...and...ugh...the sports package. Ordinarily you couldn't pay me to take such a deal, but it was a package thing for our new phone line. Great deal. Would have been more expensive not to take it.

I doomed myself to the life of a football widow. (Or at least for the next 6 months, which is when the deal expires.) This morning my husband says, "Know what I'm doing after lunch? Guess!! I'm watching football. And after that? Yep, I'm watching football. And after that? More football!!" His head might explode soon and we're only on day 1.

Under the circumstances, I think I am definitely entitled to football jokes and quotes!!

A football coach was asked his secret of evaluating his new recruits. "Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones that run round the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run straight into the trees, I turn into linemen."

Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. -- George Will.

"Well, we've determined that we can't win at home and we can't win on the road. What we need is a neutral site."
- John McKay, the first coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, during the inaugural season of 1976 when the Bucs endured a 0-14 record.

"Well, we didn't block real good but we made up for it by not tackling."
- John McKay, the first coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, during the inaugural season of 1976 when the Bucs endured a 0-14 record.

"I'm in favor of it."
- John McKay, coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1976, when asked about the execution of his team.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach