And, just like that {{*snap*}} I discovered what was wrong.
"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." -Maori
I had the wrong focus. There were "the issues," the family changes and challenges. I was unsettled...and I focused on that, unwittingly turning away from the things I NEEDED to focus on.
Why was I drained and "unproductive," and generally feeling a down-ness under the surface of joy? Because I stopped taking the steps, that usually come so naturally, towards that joy. I stopped reading the Word regularly, as things started crowding in my mind. I stopped "doing art," and rather focused on the vast amount of laundry that had built up while I was washer-less. (I should've taken smaller steps towards catch-up, and also continued some projects. It's about balance, when will I learn this??)
I wasn't taking joy in the little things. Must get back to it.
Take every thought captive to obey Christ.
I was worrying and, really, no good ever comes from worrying.
Tomorrow, on Christmas Eve, I am going to celebrate. I will celebrate my King's birth, the gift He has given me, and the blessings in my life. I will build forts, and eat yummies, and read His Word. I will do art. And I will laugh. Because God is good, all the time. And He knows my shortcomings better than anyone, and loves me still. He knows the burdens on my heart, and they burden His heart as well. He knows it all, and that is enough.
For to you is born this day in the town of David a Savior, Who is Christ the Lord! And this will be a sign for you : you will find a Baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. Then suddenly there appeared with the angel an army of the troops of heaven, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is well pleased." Luke 2:11-14
'And He knows my shortcomings better than anyone, and loves me still. He knows the burdens on my heart, and they burden His heart as well. He knows it all, and that is enough.' You said it perfectly!
ReplyDeleteRight on, Wendy! especially since what you said includes Heb.12:2 NIV, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. . . ." That's "focus"!
ReplyDeleteLove from Colorado, Papaw
Glad to hear you are back to counting to 1000 again. ; ) God knows all our shortcomings and I am so glad He has the grace to forgive them ALL. Our Christmas was turned up-side-down this year. I am glad I can say "Glory to God in the Highest." It is He who keeps me steady when I want to quit.
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