If you saw inside...

A few months ago I read a wonderful article/post somewhere about pain...what people might be going through...how everyone around us is dealing with something that we can't see... Did anyone else read it? Can you point me back to it? A man needing to sell his possessions to pay bills...ring a bell? And it talked about signs. About the invisible signs that people are carrying around their necks:
"I'm battling cancer"....
"My child is so very sick"....
"My marriage is over"....
"I can't go on another day."
Folks, I got another reminder of that this week. We simply can't know what someone else is going through. Be quick to love, embrace...slow to anger or judge.... give grace abundantly. Everyone in life has pain. Be careful.


She may smile on the outside. He may go about his daily business.



But there's often hidden wounds underneath.
For the man who cuts you off in traffic...maybe he has a real reason to be in such a hurry. You can't know.
For the receptionist that just snapped at you over the phone...is her marriage crumbling?
And the couple shoving their way through the airport...was her mom just diagnosed with cancer? Is her friend being prepped for an emergency c-section? Do you know? Do you know their pain, stress, reasons...?
There's always more behind the scenes.



Everyone needs grace.
Everyone has their own story.
And some people I love need prayer for their hurting hearts.

Joplin, a week later

I received an email, a week ago Friday, at night, saying that they could use me in Joplin. Sounds good. So, spur of the moment (at 10-ish pm,) I called my darling little sis and asked if she would pack up and come with me early the next morning. She hadn't even unpacked from her anniversary weekend, but immediately agreed to come. :)

We joined a wonderful team of Crisis Responders for clean-up and ministry.

There just aren't words to describe the devastation. It's unreal; unimaginable. You see it, interact with it and the people affected and think, "this CAN'T have happened." Yet it did. And, as soon as it "feels real" you have to push that out of your mind to carry on.
I took photos at the request of CRI, but only of homes that did not list fatalities (the information was spray painted on the front of homes --or cars/ furniture, etc if there was no home left standing.)

Places and things that break your heart...

This was from inside the station 4 fire department. Walls and roof gone.

A block away, a roof on the ground, trees stripped of leaves and bark...walls flat over.

Across from the hospital. Just unimaginable.

This man's father, Les, was in his home, in the bathroom when the tornado hit. The roof was

ripped off, along with two walls of his brick home, but he emerged physically unscathed...

..

destruction as far as the eye could see...

And then, after seeing all of the pieces broken, lives torn apart, homes gutted... we saw this:

Hope

People lining two streets, with signs and flags and messages of love...

Love lines (to peacefully counter W"BC"- we were there on the day that the President spoke at the university.)

Children participating, being led in love, encouraging others...

People gathered to pray, remember, and be silent together...



so much love, compassion... healing is already being ushered in... many blessings all around...

Moment of Silence, at the hospital


(my little sister, with the orange backpack)

And I'll end on with this picture.

Heroes.

These guys were inside the fire department, when the tornado swept over, taking off the roof and most of the walls. And so, when it had passed, what did they do? They got in their fire truck, which was still upright, and went on calls. They are still operating out of a gutted building that has a spray painted sign at the front, which reads, "station four, still taking calls."

Joplin has hope. They still need help. Be His arms, His hands and help in any way you can.

Joplin

My sister and I are leaving in the morning for Joplin. Please pray for the city, those who are coming to help, and God's leading.
Thank you.

Surrounded by twisters, twisting inside

We are grateful for safety again today.
Last night our small town opened storm shelters, sent out warnings and alerts. We took it seriously and went to my parents' house, with fun stuff packed for the cellar, if the sirens sounded. They did indeed sound, over and over. Tornadoes hit towns to our north and south...west and east. I kid not. Our little town was safe, but there is so much loss and destruction around us.
This was our street on Sunday night, during the first round of storms and tornadoes. It's tough to take decent photos at night, in the rain, while keeping the camera dry... but you can see that the cul-de-sac was full of water.

And then, while we watched the crazy whipping of wind and pounding of rain, there was a loud crack, and our tree went down....

....on our car.

If you recall, we do not have a garage. Back in 2007 or so, we converted it to the playroom/schoolroom. It's more play/sleeproom now, and less schoolroom after I realized that they'd all congregate at the kitchen table anyway. But I digress.

At 7:15am the following day, one of our neighbors came on over with his chainsaw, and helped us cut the whole thing apart. The little boys and I dragged the pieces to the backyard for firewood. Amazingly enough, we had NO damage to the car!!

I'm teetering on how to feel. Part of me is so grateful, happy, blessed that we are safe, that there was no damage, that those I love are all okay. And then I feel almost guilty. My car is okay. But others lost their homes. Everything-- clothes, favorite toys, keepsakes, photos....
some people lost loved ones...children....
There's such a painful overshadowing of my joy.
And, when I was mulling this over, wanting to be joyful for the sunshine today, and my children running through puddles, laughter, raindrops on the flowers...
the ripping inside was painful.
How can I be so grateful, joyful while others are so torn?
I read my Bible and Ann, and that was soothing.
I know the pain calls us to action.
We can be grieving for others,
hurting for their pain,
and that propels us.
While still rejoicing for what God has done for us
in all of the big and little things each day
we pray that He can use us to help.

How have you fared through the storms?

Time of death

Guy Singleton April 3, 1919- April 7, 2011 Honestly, we're sad...but it's not in the way we grieved for my Mimi.

We're sad about the loss of opportunity.

The loss of relationship possibility.

It's hard to grieve without a relationship to grieve, you know?

I'm just hoping and praying that there was time at the end, time for him to accept The Gift....

finally.

It's never too late until that last breath.

A year come and gone

Goodbye 2010.
I'm ready to see the year go.
While there were numerous blessings, there were too many tragedies, trials, and "losses" (here on earth anyway) to call it a good year.

Mimi went Home in January '10. Has it really been almost a year? I still miss her every day.
My aunt died from cancer shortly after that. I saw her at Mimi's funeral, but not again after that.
Several of my friends went through divorces or near-divorces. One friend lost her son. Two others lost their father. One friend lost her home. My cousin's wife had a miscarriage.
We went through a financially trying time, a job change, church change ... things that paled in the face of what our family and friends were dealing with, but it took a toll on us nonetheless.

We're stable-ish now financially...oxymoron, but that's how it feels. Papaw is living here in our Little Town now, and we've loved spending this year with him. He comes over often to read to the kids and bring food, and usually about once a week to whip us in cards. There are a lot of hurts in my friends' and families' lives still, but I can see healing happening. I expect good things for the new year. For one thing, a LOT of my friends will be having their precious babies soon.
New Life, new beginnings, growing families... the most amazing blessings.

A big shout-out to my bestest girlfriends, my fabulous sisters! Always there for crying or laughing, shopping or playdates, ready to lend a book or bra, what have you. The only people in the world, perhaps, who know when I need lots of time alone and when I need to socialize my heart out. Everyone needs at least one person who really "gets" them.

Here's to a new year.

My resolutions are about the same, I'm simply feeling more focused and intentional.

Blessings to you all!

Hug them longer

5 days, folks. I never go five days without posting. But, you see, I'm not only busy with holidays and etsy stuff, birthdays and family gatherings... but I'm also trying desperately not to trivialize the little things. After reading that this fellow mommy blogger just lost her toddler, on my husband's birthday... I feel... so so very sad. So sad and heartbroken for her. So guilty, and really downright ashamed, that I have scolded my kids so often this week for being too loud and rowdy in the house. That I too quickly say, "just a minute" when they ask me to come or to look at what they've drawn. That I don't always stay the extra few minutes when I tuck them in, to hear about the latest plot in the library book.

So sad...and scared, too. So scared. Scared for my children's safety, and scared that I would falter under such tragedy.

I'm so sad for that sweet, sweet Mama and her family. please, please pray for her. Pray for daily strength, perfect comfort over their entire family. Lord that you would ease their hearts, that no one would see blame.

And, Lord, help me look at the eternal. Help me see each moment with my children as the blessing that it is. Please fade the urgent and pressing matters, social events, bills... and help me focus on the truly important things.

I also urge you to read her advice at the end... look around your home. Accidents happen.

We have two bookcases in our playroom that are both anchored, and a pantry cupboard that is set against the wall in such a way that it would fall against a bookcase (thereby not ON anyone or the floor) if it tipped. But the large, heavy, real wood dresser in my son's room was not anchored. So I moved it today. Now it can't fall. Now it's safe, because I read that post and the heartache of that mom's words, as she tries to protect other children.

I know it's a sad, horribly tragic thing to post so near Christmas. But, if you're like me, it will help you focus, pray, hug tighter and longer...think about those who are hurting at this time...

Must go now. Must kiss my sleeping beauties.

Mimi's Memorial Service

Mimi's Memorial Service was just as she would have wanted. It was a beautiful celebration of her life. I just can't write out how I feel about it now, or what I'm processing.

It was wonderful to see so much family, lovely friends, and be with my sisters and Papaw during this time.

Art Helps Heal the Hurt

I'll tell you straight out that I believe in Art Therapy. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it's often just as effective and powerful as Talk Therapy (and this coming from someone who has taken numerous therapy, family science, and therapeutic interviewing classes... bah, now don't flinch when I talk about alternatives.)

Everyone has their own way to deal with stressful events. I have several "baking friends," some "singers," a few "cleaners," several "exercisers"... all healthy and effective stress relievers. Mine, without a doubt, is art. And, really, almost any kind of art will do, whether it be painting a mural, sketching, sculpting, or coloring pages with the kids. Something about creating and releasing is soothing to the soul. God made us with creative talents & gifts, and I believe He intends for those to be used.
The kids are no strangers to paint. And, as you can see, I'm not a hyper-cleanie person.
Sure, give a 2-year old craft paints, glitter, paper and let him go at it. Why not?

The kiddos painted these fabulous clothes pins and blocks the other day.

Last week, when Mimi passed away, I took two days off of school. It's hard to function when you lose someone so dear to your heart. During that time, we spent time outside ...

(gotta love Dash's cute face, behind Little Lad)

...and many hours "doing art."
I painted a rug onto our playroom floor.

And then a mural for the kids. They designed it: roads, railroad tracks, lakes and a river, crosswalks, an ocean and island (with an X that marks the spot for buried treasure.) We made some box buildings to complete the city area.

Added some alligators to guard the Treasure Island.

Nature Man's firefighters saved the forest just in time.

Below, Little Lad (aka Batbaby) is just happy to be a part of the fun!
He had his own section to build on and then demolish.

I also added some art pages to their activity books. It's good to mix things up now-and-again.
I'm so happy to have Papaw here now, although it still knocked me off my rocker to see him walk in alone. He brought me Mimi's perfume, per my request, and also a mug that I had bought for her birthday and mailed. I drank my coffee using it, yesterday morning, and then put it up somewhere safe.

I love this sweet old man!!