Evolving Family

These holidays have been different. Good, but very different.

We celebrated with my "sister" October, the day before Thanksgiving. She came, and spent the day with our family, eating and playing games. I've known October and her twin sister November for nearly as long as I've been married. Tob has no family in the area, and my family has adopted her in. :)

We took turns having kids for several years (until my husband finally said, "now one of you has to stop it!") so there's a whole gaggle of stair-step munchkins.

Our neighbor girls decided to join the fun, too.

Whenever we start up a fire in the backyard, kids appear from nowhere!

These two were so sweet, with their artwork, and team-game-playin'.

 It was relaxed, sweet, just like having my sister and her kids over.

On Thanksgiving, we went to my Dad's house.

This was our first Thanksgiving to celebrate separately with my parents, which was strange.

It was good. Just different.

My Mom left right after Thanksgiving last year, and the divorce was finalized a few months later.

 The family evolves. Things change.

We had a wonderful time, eating and playing games, and generally just having a goofy good time!

(My Dad with his three daughters, two sons-in-law, and seven grandchildren)

 The next day, we were off to Fred's dad and stepmom's house.

Yes, divorce always changes things. His parents divorced when he was 13, and it was a real mess. Very rough on him, and still seems to cause more pain than my parents' recent divorce.

Sometimes divorce makes things better (yes, I believe this)

and sometimes it simply makes them harder.  

We celebrated with his Dad (right), two of his sisters, cousins & aunt and uncles, nieces and nephews, and even a random guy I didn't know (center.) It was relaxing, delicious, less dramatic than it's been in the past.

All good things.

Fred and I spent some time winding down in the guest/playroom with the little ones.

 I love this Spanish alphabet puzzle!

They've had it for years...I think she said they got it from a yard sale?

Such a neat treasure!

 We saw Fred's Mom the following day, but I was too distracted to take pictures. My bad.

(...but she doesn't like having her picture taken, so it's probably for the best!)

On Sunday (yes, we were going 5 for 5!!) we drove to my Mom's house, about an hour away. I've only been there twice, and actually had to mapquest the address.

It's a beautiful home, and she's done so much with it.

There were new traditions, to establish the new family situation.

My Mom served pork rather than turkey. She's always been a fan of bucking custom. ;)

We played cards rather than board games.

Relaxed, drank wine, watched movies, played outside.

 Me, my Mom, sister Julie, sister Amy

Celebrating with four sets of parents isn't easy.

We tried to plan as early as possible to avoid overlaps. 

We made a schedule and let everyone know what we would be doing. Every home had a day.

We made it a holiday weekend, rather than one insane day to zip around celebrating.

 We tried to see everyone, but it's simply not always possible.

Fred isn't close to his stepbrothers and sisters, and they don't live around us,

so we rarely see them, even around the holidays.

We made it a priority to see parents and grandparents, sisters and brothers.

We made time for fun and relaxing.

 Isn't my niece gorgeous? She's like a little fairy child!

 And this precious little nephew of mine is so happy, so hilarious!

Ahh, and here's my girl. My teenager.

The amazing kid who studied geography when she was finished with her meal!

It's different now, but good. We saw this coming. We knew it was over.

And, honestly, I'm thankful.

It was less stressful this year than it's been in the past.

Both of my parents are happy.

Sometimes things fall apart so they can be put back together differently...better... healthier.

And I'm thankful for that. For the lives they have now, apart.

I'm thankful that Thanksgiving was truly full of thanks, on all sides. 

I'm thankful that no one pulled us around; everyone was flexible.

I'm thankful that my children saw smiling, truly joyful grandparents, not underlying stress and drama.

I'm also thankful for all of my childhood memories of Thanksgiving, which were full of happiness.  

Yes, this was a busy, very different Thanksgiving for us, but good. 



Changes...reconciling...

Have you ever met someone so REAL, that you just wished you could let loose and be like that? To totally step out into the light and still be embraced? To say, "yeah, sometimes I'm supermom...and sometimes I am totally NOT."

That's what I'm feeling. And I'm wondering how many other women feel the same way?

Do you go through spurts making crafts and doing fun projects with your kids 24/7....and then several weeks where you can't muster a single puppet from a paper bag? I do.

One of my best friends (my sister) pointed out the other day that I tend to get snappy when I'm emotionally bothered by something else. **Ding, ding** Well, of course. That makes sense. Even when I'm not thinking about "the issues," it's a battle under the surface. (It's great to have someone who will call me out on it when I'm acting like a jerk.)

I wish sometimes that I could be "real enough" to share things that bother me, without fearing what others will think. I just want to blurt things out sometimes. And still get a hug later.

I'm well aware that I'm being irritatingly vague. Sorry.

Life is good. My camera (yeah, the freakin' awesome one) recently broke, which brought me to tears a few times. We'll get it fixed. We will. Fred said so.

I am so very grateful for my children. My home. The warmth and food. The health. I'm so thankful. Fred has a job now, and I am so thankful for all these things. Our lives hold so much joy.

The issues we're dealing with are big, emotional burdens....a lot of "what-if"s, but it will not steal our joy.

I guess, in my tired rambly state, I'm really just trying to say that I don't know how to reconcile the "supermom" with the "loser mom," which is how I feel when I get snappy and tired, unproductive, or just kinda "down" about things. I don't want to only post the fun stuff. I also want to post the real issues. Maybe I need tougher skin. I'd like to talk to someone else who has a slow learner child, someone who can reassure me that he'll be okay. That he'll catch up someday and, even if he doesn't, that it'll be alright. I'd like to talk about my parents' pending divorce and my thoughts about it. But I can't do that. I'd like to seek advice about my 4-year old who calls his brothers "losers" when he gets mad, and says "I hate you," and how that makes me feel like a terrible mother. Even though I know I'm not. And I know he's a wonderful child, usually very sweet and loving. But I've never had one do this before and I just don't know what to say/do to handle it. Usually I simply say, "well, it's fine if you're feeling that way, but I always love you," and then we try to take deep breaths. But still the words haven't lost their appeal to him and my methods don't seem to be working.

Sooo. I think my plan/early New Year's Resolution is to step out a little. Do the one thing every day that scares me, like Eleanor Roosevelt suggested. If God's going to wash the "yuck" away, then I can't keep burying it. Right? Right. Sharing some things is okay. Hiding behind projects all the time is not so okay. At least not for me.

To end on a good note, Fred is off work for the next 10 days! I'm looking forward to plenty of family games, yummy food, Christmas celebrations (even if it will be different this year,) and excuses to dress up. I do love dress-up!! ;) It pains me to think of going through holidays without my camera, but it's certainly doable! I want to get rid of these extra emotional burdens and just focus my energy on the four little people that I've been blessed with.

May you and yours have an amazing Christmas, truly celebrating the Reason for the Season!

Gettin' Down with it

It's been quite a weekend! Go, Go, Go!
On Friday night we had a Family Game Night at Amy's house.
I love this sign on her front door.

They surprised us with a new game: Beatles Rockband.
I don't sing (really,) but I'm not half-bad at the guitar! Vu is hilarious on vocals!

And my man Fred is awesome. Really, the man has an incredible voice...
it's one of the things I first fell in love with.

Amy loves her kitties (when she gets old we'll call her the Cat Lady.)
Look at Thumbkin's freaky thumbs!

One of the best things about Game Night is all of the scrumptious food!!! Amy made delicious spaghetti (lots of yummy wine in the sauce. Mmmm....) We also had mashed potatoes and Texas toast, french bread, chips, strawberry shortcakes, carmel apples, and two kinds of wine. Can't beat all that!

What a great night!
Adam crashed first...

Rise and Shine for Saturday:

Back to back company picnics.

First was Fred's, which I didn't get any pictures of! My arms were loaded with popcorn, balloons, candy bags and I was attempting to help the kids with their games. I didn't even get a picture of my boys with painted moustaches!

Then we went straight to my Dad's company picnic. And, wait, you can still see a bit of Little Lad's moustache in this picture.

Julie and Scarlett, my Dad and Little Lad, Amy and her baby Ransom
(Mom still isn't feeling well at all, and couldn't make it to the picnic. We missed you, Mom)

And.... drum roll, please....

I did the climbing wall! For the first time ever! And it was terrifying. Really, I'm scared of heights. I may have screamed on my way down (not really sure... I may have passed out for a second, too!) See how it goes all the way to the clouds??

Yep, it was hard, but I did it.
Pay no attention to the little kids standing in line behind me. ;-)
While standing in line for this, Dad took two of the boys to ride ponies.
I saw it, but didn't get any pictures.
Wish I could show you how CUTE they looked on their horses.

Added bonus:
Both picnics had the huge jumping inflatable things!
Here Julie goes down with Scar.

I am so absolutely blessed to have family all around me. And, even more of a blessing, we are all the best of friends. I hope and pray that my own children will stay close for the rest of their lives.

Fishing with their daddy

I know I skipped right over Father's Day. It's not that I didn't have a lot to say but, rather, that I have so much to say every day about my husband, why limit it to just one time? We DID have a fabulous Father's Day, and even carried over the celebration into the following day.

This is the perfect example of what a wonderful father my husband is.

At 6am my man loaded up snacks, drinks, and three kids with their fishing poles. Off they went to conquer the pond.

Dash caught this fish by himself (and then wouldn't touch it, so Daddy held it up.)

Three generations

Nature Man reeled this baby in! It was about 2 feet long!
Fred also searched out "Nature Treasures" for them,
(documenting everything with the camera, to pacify me.)
They spotted this killdeer, with her eggs. W-o-w.

And this huge bullfrog.

The guy that lives on the pond told the kids all about the enormous snake that goes around swallowing up the frogs. Yikes.

The Artist with her catch.

When I was growing up, I took so many things for granted. We were so blessed, so taken care of and loved. My family spent "family time" together at every meal (yes, three home-cooked meals a day.) My Dad would interrupt his own work each night to help us on our homework. We built snowmen & went sledding in winter, went to water parks & on vacations each summer. Our holidays were spent together, focused on the things that really matter. Our day-to-day living was about family. I truly believed that every family was like mine.

As an adult, my eyes were opened to the other kinds of families out there. Unfortunately, I've met too many husbands and fathers who don't seem to care at all about their children. Never again will I take my own family for granted. My father is the best father I could ask for!! And my husband is such a spectacular daddy to my kids. I love you, guys!!

My man loves his children. And I love him all the more for it!!

I also have pictures from Silver Dollar City, the creeks, several birthday parties, and a visit to Fred's sister's house. More posts soon!

While Mommy is away, the grandparents and kids will play.

On the first day of my retreat, my folks helped hubby out by taking the three older kids out of town to the aquarium. This was their second time to go, and they loved it. Just seeing the pictures my Mom took reminds me of the wonderful summers I had in California.
Someday, Lord willing, I want to take them all to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. How I love that place!

Dash watches the sting rays swim by.

The Naturalist waits for the scuba diver to appear and feed the sharks.

The three kids ride a stony-faced gator. The Nature Man, of course, goes in for a better look!

Can any child resist sand?

Mistreating the walls...and windows...and furniture!

Well, my sister Amy bought me a gorgeous print a couple weeks ago. I'd been pining for it, as it is to be the inspiration for my living room makeover. The darling gal set me afloat. How wonderful it is to have interior design-y people in the family. Today I had a scheduled consultation with her, to pick out paint colors, curtains, and a color for my furniture. Yes, I plan to sail into uncharted territory and recover my sofa and love seat by myself. Of course, it does help that my husband builds furniture for a living.

Where was I? Ah, yes. We picked "Spring Glow" for the walls, "Garden Sprout" for the accent, and a bright reddish orange "Paprika" for the furniture color. Curtains are also "spring glow" with yellow sheers behind them. This. Makes. Me. Happy. COLOR. My phrase for the room is "Simply Cheerful." Not too far-fetched a dream, eh?

I did just redo my living room (in fact, ALL the rooms) when I was pregnant, but that was more of a nesting thing, in my defense. And it was springtime. So I thought that dark, deep, intense shades would be great. You know sophisticated or something. It turns out that deep and dark, although gorgeous, is rather depressing to me during the cold wintry months when I 'm stuck in a small house with four small children.

Neither of my sisters have ever designed a room that didn't turn out stunning, so I have total confidence in them. Me? Well, I'm crafty and all, but I just don't know how to put colors together. Hence my signature "squiggly eye" handmade cards.

I love Nester's philosophy. It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. Why get your panties in a bunch, when something might look just as phenomenal with a quick color coat? I'm hoping that my couches look fabulous, but I'm not gonna sweat it if there are some crinkles or wrinkles. I'll just pretend that I intended it to look that way. Just hoping for no stray nails poking out! I may sleep on them before I invite any of y'all over again. Unless you think it's worth the risk. You could always just sit on the floor. Did I mention that I'm going to save for a rug, too? Oh yeah, baby!

So, anyway, I am VERY excited! Especially because I found so many great deals. You know me, I'm all about saving money!-- you know, since I have none. :-)

In other news, my Dad and hubby headed to the Naturals game tonight. Fred caught a ball. It would have hit my Dad in the face. (Way to pay attention, Dad.) Fred is totally psyched! He wrote the game info on the ball and then announced that it's going "in the bathroom." Yeah, poor guy just gets a bathroom. Hey, I think it's a pretty great arrangement. I decorate the whole house, and he just worries about one measly bathroom. He can do whatever he wants to that room (within reason, I mean, come on!) There are football figures, Chicago Bears colors, old action heroes, and now a famous baseball. No wonder he spends so much time in there. ;-)

Now, must get to bed. I won't be able to paint again until the kids go to bed tomorrow night.

So tomorrow we will dance and sing and jump around in our new half-way painted living room. And the kids can help me make more plans. Maybe we'll play Twister again while we discuss it.

Silver Dollar City

Our little mini-vacation to Branson was about a week ago. The first day was pretty bad. It rained and rained on us. Try walking four little kids around in the pouring rain ALL DAY. They close the rides during storms, so we just stuck to shows, shopping, and eating.

Isabelle looked darling in her Mimi-made skirt, athletic shoes, pink jacket, braid, and polka-dot umbrella. I'm so thankful that she still looks like my little girl. :-)It did finally clear up towards the end of the day, the the kids rode the Lost River ride and some others.

We were able to ride the train, too.

The hotel was HORRIBLE. Seriously, I've never stayed in such a bad place. The carpet was coming away from the wall at the bathroom entrance, and Fred hurt his foot. The room was tiny, with two queen beds crammed in, and one tiny window near the door. And I mean, it was so small and high-up that the kids couldn't even see outside. Argh. I'm a light person!!

There was no shampoo in the bathroom, and no phone book or directory in the room. Man, am I spoiled or was this just really crummy? And no breakfast in the morning-- not even continental.

What really gets me is that I checked this place out. I looked online at pictures, read customer reviews, checked prices.... how could we have such a horrid experience when others seemed to like it so much? Huh.


Anyway, my parents met us there the second day, and the weather was beautiful. Fred rode every ride in the park, and he dragged the bigger kids or my mom along with him. Isabelle and Ethan both rode Thunderation, and hated it. Isabelle and Trevor both rode American Plunge. Isabelle went twice and wanted to go again. My kids aren't very brave, so this totally took me by surprise!

It ended up being a wonderful mini-vacation b/c the second day trumped the first one so well! We did decide to head home after that, though. Who wants to stay in Hotel H*ll, when driving home is just 2 hours away. Andmy precious grandparents were still in town. I'd rather have time with them anyway! :-)

Haven't seen it, can't play Scene It

All of my family came over Friday night: my parents, sisters Julie and Amy and their husbands and the kids. We ate salad, pizza, chocolate eclairs, leftover VDay chocolates, cookies, rootbeers... and coffee. Yep, even after 10pm, we were all chugging down cups of joe. We're a coffee-lovin' family. Of course, after lunchtime I can only have decaf, or I'll be up all night. It was a regular gorge fest, plus games.

We started out just chowing down while we watched He-Man. Yep, you heard right. Hubby just ordered the first 6 (?) DVDs of He-Man and he has already gotten the boys obsessed with it. It's not at all unusual now for me to see Trevor bounding down the hallway in his batman mask, Spiderman pjs, holding his light saber, shouting "by the power of gray skull." Then Ethan declares that he is He-Man and Trevor can be battle cat.

At first I was like, whoooaa now, there are some things in this cartoon that I don't like. The women dress like...well, just not like women should dress. And the skull face bad guy just isn't something I really like. But I decided to back off. Fred is the Daddy. He was a boy and now he's become a great father...and who am I to deprive his boys of He-Man?

Apparently Fred was not the only once-obsessed little boy. My brothers-in-law, Adam and Vu, were glued to the screen as soon as they walked in. I heard lengthy conversations about how He-Man was like Superman, and how Adam always got to be He-Man because of his name (like Clark Kent is Superman, Adam is really He-Man, for those who need a refresher!) It was quite amusing.

After we peeled the men from the cartoons, we started Scene It. Ha! I don't watch TV. I don't watch movies. Is there any doubt that I would totally stink at this game? In my own defense, though, I did get ONE answer right! What little blue fish sings "just keep swimming, just keep swimming?"...

...well, Dory in Finding Nemo, of course! Yea for me! ;-)

After the awful beating I took in that game, we moved on to Nerts (is that right, Julie?) It's a card game, played with four decks of cards. It's fast-paced, and was much more my style.
You know things are getting serious when Fred and Vu turn their hats around!

Adam and I won that game. Julie declared that it was more my kind of game. (yeah, one with no questions, right?? Heh heh)

Anyway, it was so much fun. I love to play games. I'm so grateful to be close to my family, and see them all often.