It's all about focus

And, just like that {{*snap*}} I discovered what was wrong.

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." -Maori

I had the wrong focus. There were "the issues," the family changes and challenges. I was unsettled...and I focused on that, unwittingly turning away from the things I NEEDED to focus on.

Why was I drained and "unproductive," and generally feeling a down-ness under the surface of joy? Because I stopped taking the steps, that usually come so naturally, towards that joy. I stopped reading the Word regularly, as things started crowding in my mind. I stopped "doing art," and rather focused on the vast amount of laundry that had built up while I was washer-less. (I should've taken smaller steps towards catch-up, and also continued some projects. It's about balance, when will I learn this??)

I wasn't taking joy in the little things. Must get back to it.

Take every thought captive to obey Christ.

I was worrying and, really, no good ever comes from worrying.

Tomorrow, on Christmas Eve, I am going to celebrate. I will celebrate my King's birth, the gift He has given me, and the blessings in my life. I will build forts, and eat yummies, and read His Word. I will do art. And I will laugh. Because God is good, all the time. And He knows my shortcomings better than anyone, and loves me still. He knows the burdens on my heart, and they burden His heart as well. He knows it all, and that is enough.

For to you is born this day in the town of David a Savior, Who is Christ the Lord! And this will be a sign for you : you will find a Baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. Then suddenly there appeared with the angel an army of the troops of heaven, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is well pleased." Luke 2:11-14

Resting in the Word

Genesis 2: 1 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. 2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 3 Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

Couldn't resist. I {love} my sweet kitties, Chloe and Calvin.

Enjoy your day of rest, my friends.

A Mere Mortal

I've gone all deep on you lately. How are you holding up? ;)

Several friends (like SuzanneP, Ellen, my sisters, and other friends/family who don't blog) inspired me to lower my guard, tear down some bricks, and share my thoughts. As much as I enjoy sharing crafts and school activities, I was feeling trapped within my own space. The filter was always there, for fear of ...the unknown, I guess. How would people respond if I "let it all hang out"? Would I make sense, blogging a stream of consciousness?

After some serious thought about the people who inspire and challenge me, I decided that it's as much a responsibility to share as it is a desire. How can I possibly make any difference at all, if I'm hiding behind my surface-level-shield. Even if the difference I make comes from someone disagreeing and therefore thinking about and explaining their own beliefs...well, at least I've done something possibly worthwhile. Does that make sense?

I do believe that encouraging moms to spend time with their kids, prepare crafts and school activities is very worthwhile. I just think we can go deeper still. And, if we're really going to be good parents, we must go deeper. Right? Right.

Yeah. Okay.

Lots of self-examination going on.

Psalm 144:3

LORD, what are human beings that you care for them,
mere mortals that you think of them?


(not entirely happy with my "mirror," but -hey- it's in ink. And you get the point.)

So, my last drawing and verse might need some more explanation? At least, as much as I can do with words. When I drew it I was thinking about Gal 5:1, but also about Romans 3:20: no one has been, or ever will be, declared righteous by observing the law. Rules for the sake of rules -psha (Matt 12, for example.) Modern day "rules" are a bit different, but the point is that we can get so tied up in legalism about things that so do not matter, and we forget about our soul and all the souls around us! It's like asking "why isn't he wearing a tie to church," while being completely unaware that the man is wrestling with life-changing catastrophes.

On the flip side, I'm not promoting "tolerance"(by the world's definitions) of Wrong, as if there is no Truth. I was just thinking about how "true tolerance" means that, despite our differences, we need to treat every person with the dignity and respect they deserve, as people also created in God's image. We act mercifully to those who believe differently, rather than hit them over the head about how they're dressing, what they're eating or drinking, how they worship, or whatnot. Yeah, let's focus on the soul. No more getting tied up to a Pharisaical law.

And all those words probably didn't clear anything up.

ah, well. I tried.

My next "Bible study" drawing. Brings new meaning to meditating on His Word. I keep my train of thought better when drawing, and have to really examine what I believe, how I feel, and how it should be put into practice...

I know. You can't tell what I'm drawing.
I'm such a tease.

You'll see soon enough. I'm not done yet.

Living Free

This is truly the easiest way for me to express myself. Words often fail me.
But art ~ it's always at my fingertips.


I'm trying to stay free from the law; trying to live in love and grace and mercy; I don't want to settle for anything less than the Real Thing. But I'm still learning what that means. It's a day by day, sometimes hour by hour goal to "not get tied up again." Paul issues the warning because it's a very real danger.

Are we really worshipping, believing, rejoicing, living free? Or merely "attending"?

Am I content to live a decent life in a decent house in a decent neighborhood with my decent family? I don't want to be just content. I want to have joy and drive and determination.
And I don't want to live by the law. I don't ever want to feel "good enough." There's not a list to follow, there's a Person. And He demands much more than a list; He demands it all.
He deserves it all.


Like I said, words fail me sometimes... so I'll keep drawing...

Proverbs 31 Woman

The Sketchbook Challenge this month is "Highly Prized."

Naturally, I decided to go with "woman."

Because we're awesome. ;)

No, really because this is what we should aspire to be.
The Proverbs 31 Woman is Most Certainly a "Highly Prized" Woman!

10A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is
still night; she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is
profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine
linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and
sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have
done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Two friends of mine bestowed me with Hobby Lobby gift cards (hi guys!!) so I promptly bought Prisma colored pencils, new fine-tip markers, and a leather dancing bell kit (yes, seriously.) I'm not at all accustomed to working in colored pencil and, frankly, I'm more than a little scared of screwing up my picture. But I want to expand and jump out of the comfort zone a bit.

Fine, laugh.

I work in sharpies and yet colored pencil terrifies me.

My consolation is that, regardless of how it ultimately turns out, this is MY sketchbook and MY art, and I am not a perfectionist. I'll do my best and leave the rest (P90X stuck in the brain.)

Here is my inspiration picture:

And my sharpie start to the picture:

(Must start where I'm comfortable.)

some colored pencil added...

I'll add more later + my verses and... I don't know, maybe even paint. We'll see...

I have a couple of friends doing the sketch challenge. Anyone else want to join us??

The Best Family

We are part of an amazing Family, adopted by God Himself.

Luke 2:4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea,
to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of
David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married
to
him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for
the
baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She
wrapped him
in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest
room available
for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in
the fields nearby,
keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of
the Lord appeared to
them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and
they were terrified. 10
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I
bring you good news that will
cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today
in the town of David a Savior has
been born to you; he is the Messiah, the
Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you:
You will find a baby wrapped in cloths
and lying in a manger.”

13
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly
host appeared with the angel, praising
God and saying,

14 “Glory to
God in the highest heaven,
and on earth
peace to those on whom his favor
rests.”

Jesus, simply the Best Gift ever given.

I've also been immensely blessed, by the best earthly family I could imagine. Fabulous sisters, playful and fun parents, the most amazing children.
My parents, never too old for Twister.

Amy, Julie, me

Best Sisters ever.

Hope yours was just as wonderful, filled with celebrations of our Savior, full of laughter and love.

To Train Up a Child OR you could call it How to Abuse a Child

Yesterday a friend on facebook-- a great friend of mine-- openly asked for advice on disciplining/ training children. She was reading To Train Up a Child by Debi and Micheal Pearl, and needed some insight from friends.
Seeing as how I love talking about children and books, I decided to research the book for myself.
I've rarely been so shocked by a book's content.

First, I went to Amazon, just to read reviews. You know something might be amiss when the average rating is less than 3 stars, and about 3/4 of the reviews (550+) were 1 star reviewers, with some serious concerns. The more I read, the more disgusted and appalled I became. So you should know that I went into the book already biased against it. It's hard not to be when you read direct quotes like,

"On p.44 they say not to let the child's crying while being hit to 'cause you to
lighten up on the intensity or duration of the spanking.' On p.59 they recommend
whipping a 3 year old until he is 'totally broken'."

So as not to swamp my friend's page, I brought up the reviews and my own concerns on my facebook page. Join the discussion here, if you want.

I received multiple facebook messages and emails from friends who had read the book, and maybe even recommended it to others. Why? Because there are some truths. Because it starts off all folksy and common sense. You find yourself nodding about little things. The Pearls mix a few Truths with a lot of extremes. Which causes some people to swallow hook, line, and sinker. They don't intend to, but they are caught. I'm glad-- SO GLAD-- that many of them are rereading, seeing, analyzing, questioning now.

Never take something you read for granted. Not the newspaper, a book by experts, or even my blog. ;-) Test everything against Scripture.

I read as much as I could online, and then checked the book out. It's nauseating to me, to read about such abuse, and know that it's continuing.

And, just as upsetting, is the fact that I know people who are saying "oh, just glean what you can," or "eat the meat and spit out the bones," or "as long as you discipline consistently, then whatever method you choose is okay." Hogwash. Abuse is merely "bones"? Something just to be overlooked? It's okay to "consistently discipline" by whipping with piping and holding your children down? Christian women, COME ON. STAND UP. Don't just say what you think people want to hear. It's really not "I'm okay, you're okay, just do whatever works for you." NO. There are absolutes, and child abuse is an absolute NO.



With permission, I'm sharing this post from fellow Mama Blogger Laurel at Our Journey of Faith. It's a 3-part series on her blog, and I encourage you to read them all.

Book Review: To Train Up A Child

While there are many parts of this book that we could look at, analyze, review, and get upset about ... what I really want to look at is the Pearls views on spanking, something that I fully disagree with.

The really hard part about writing this series of blog posts is that ...

I do believe in using spanking as a discipline tool;
I just don't believe in using it as the Pearls advocate.

I am not against the practice of spanking;
yet I am appalled in the ways that so many parents use it.

I agree that spankings can be beneficial;
but don't have any grasp as to how parents
(such as Lydia's) could beat a child so severely
that it could lead to the death of the child.

I. One issue that I have with Michael & Debi Pearl's philosophy of child training is their use of spankings at a very young age:

"One of our girls who developed mobility early had a fascination with crawling up the stairs. At four months she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good, we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of "No" with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a 12" long, 1/8th" diameter sprig from a willow tree." (page 9)

They are using a "switch" on a 4 month old? Unbelievable.

They claim it is "for her own good"; but couldn't they have just put a gate at the bottom of the stairs if they were concerned for her safety?

And, again, they claim that their use of a switch is not for punishment, but for training. I fully disagree with this method of training.

Michael goes on to share the story of a father that he was having a conversation with, who had an undisciplined 12 month old on his lap. The child wanted to go to the mother (who was across the room), but the father clearly "needed" to show this child who the authority was:

"Clearly, the lines were drawn. The battle was in array. Someone was going to submit his will and learn his lesson. Either the father would confirm that this one-year-old could rule his parents or the parents would confirm their authority. Everyone's happiness was at stake, as well as the soul of the child. The father was wise enough to know this was a test of authority. This episode had crossed over from "obedience training" to discipline for attitude.

For the next weary forty-five minutes, fifteen times the child would make his legs move, and the daddy would turn him around and spank his legs. The father was as calm as a lazy porch swing on a Sunday afternoon. There was no hastiness or anger. He did not take the disobedience personally. He had trained many a horse or mule and knew the value of patient perseverance. In the end, the twelve-month-old submitted his will to his father."

Do you see any problems here?

"Everyones happiness was at stake, as well as the soul of the child." Wow! That is a powerful statement. First of all, a child's disobedience should not control the parents' happiness. Secondly, how could this one little instance, at 12 months old, possibly do irreparable damage to the child's soul if the parent did not show their authority?

So, over the course of 45 minutes, this father spanked his young son 15 times ... for "moving his leg"??? I want my children to learn to obey me out of respect for me, rather than fear. I believe that this father was ultimately training his child to fear him (as MANY children trained this way have shown this to be true).

II. Another issue I have with Michael & Debi Pearl's philosophy of child training is the "instruments" that they use to "reinforce instruction":

"Any spanking, to effectively reinforce instruction, must cause pain ... Select your instrument according to the child's size. For the under one year old, a little 10" - 12" willowy branch, about 1/8th" in diameter is sufficient. Sometimes alternatives have to be sought. A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective."

Oh my! I just cannot imagine going outside and picking out a tree branch ... in comparison to the size of my child ... in order to beat them with. Can you?

You can read THIS LINK to find out about the 1/4" Plumbing Supply Line, recommended by the Pearls, which was the "instrument" that was used in the death of 7 year old Lydia Schatz, in February.

III. A third issue that I have with Michael & Debi Pearl's philosophy of child training is who they believe has the right to spank a child. My philosophy: Only a parent should spank their own children.

Michael & Debi Pearl believe that they have the right to spank any child that is in their home, whether or not the child's parents are present. On page 53, Michael shares about a time that two sisters were in their home (ages 2 and 14). He seemed shocked that ...

"The fourteen-year-old admitted she was not allowed to discipline her little sister."

So, Debi ... "set up a training session" and "spatted her hand with a little switch".

They also advocate (I can't find the reference right now) allowing any of your older children to switch your younger children. They use an example of a 10 year old being allowed to switch a younger sibling.

Two big problems here ...

#1 We do NOT allow ANY of our older children to spank the younger children. Even if a Big Kid is left in charge for a day ... they do NOT have the right or the authority to spank the children. They are well aware of the many other discipline techniques that can be used (timeouts ... removing privileges ... )

#2 I would probably go BALLISTIC if I found out that an adult had "switched" by child without my permission (which I would NEVER give). I am actually surprised that the Pearls haven't spent time in jail for beating other people's children.

In another instance (on page 56) Debi sets up another "training session" with the mother of the child sitting right there. The little 2 year old boy picked up a plastic toy wrench and hit his mother on the arm with it ...

"... little Johnny got tired of assaulting his mother (all bold emphasis is mine) and turned on my wife. After the first blow, almost without diverting her eyes from the mother, and with no change of expression, she picked up a matching plastic toy. This was not to fight back, but to train. The mother is the one who would most benefit from what was about to occur. As little Johnny drove home the next blow, swiftly and with more than matching force, my wife struck. ... Again, Johnny strikes. Again, swift retribution (training really). ... again, but with less force, he struck. The immediately returned blow was not diminished in strength. ... he again, and with even less force, struck my wife on the arm. I was thinking, "She will lighten up this time and match his diminished intensity." Again, my wife struck, seemingly, with all the force she could possible muster without standing for a wind-up. ... To my amazement, with one-fourth the original force, he again struck my wife. This time, her bottom came off the couch as she drew back to return the blow; and I heard a little karate like wheeze come from somewhere deep inside. I was hoping that Johnny was getting close to learning his lesson. ... (but) he continued to trade blows about ten times. On Johnny's part, the blows got lighter and lighter until, after a short contemplative delay, he gave a little tap that was returned with a swift, forceful blow. ... (then) I could see an idea come into his experimental little head. He turned to his mother and pounded her on the arm. ... my wife handed the wrench to her. The next time Johnny struck, the young mother courageously returned the blow. It only took two or three times to learn his lesson for good. The mother was the one being taught. If she remained consistent, Johnny would be forever broken of a tendency to be a bully. Understand ... this was not discipline, but training."

Do any of you have a problem with this???

I was sick to my stomach while reading this again, and writing it out for you.

I am nearly speechless ...

I cannot even fathom it ...

How can thousands of Christian parents read these Parenting Principles and actually believe that they are based on God's Holy Word???

This. Is. Just. Plain. WRONG!!!

On page 64 Michael shares that ...

"When my wife babysits ... it is always understood to be on the condition we have full liberty to discipline and train."

Would you EVER leave your children in their care???

IV. I will conclude my review of To Train Up A Child with my concern about their purpose in switching a child ... to "break" his spirit.

Speaking of a 3 year old boy who spilled some water and wouldn't clean it up. This is what they would recommend ... (page 59)

"She then administers about 10 slow, patient licks on his bare legs. He cries in pain. If he continues to show defiance by jerking around and defending himself, or by expressing anger, then she will wait a moment and again lecture him and again spank him. When it is obvious he is totally broken, she will hand him the rag and very calmly say, "Johnny, clean up your mess." He should very contritely wipe up the water. To test and reinforce this moment of surrender, give him another command. "Johnny, go over and put your toys all back in the box." .. After three or four faithfully performed acts of obedience, brag on how "smart" a helper he is."

10 switches on his bare legs for spilled water?

Totally broken??? How can anyone see this as a "good thing"?

My heart aches for the precious children who's hearts have been severely "broken" by their parents, as a result of following the Parenting Principles that the Pearls advocate.

How can we stop this foolishness before more children are murdered by their "loving, Christian parents"???

We will conclude with another ... Parenting Guarantee ...

"For the rest of the day, he will be happy and compliant. The transformation is unbelievable.

You have just witnessed the potential making of a peaceful home and of an emotionally stable and obedient child. If you are faithful to guard against and reward every infraction, whether in attitude or action, in just a few days you will have a perfectly obedient and cheerful child."

What more can I say? It truly grieves me to see how this parenting philosophy has grown into a legalistic community of parents who ... crave perfection ... expect perfection ... and won't settle for anything less than perfection from their children. This, in turn, creates children who live in fear of their parents. And ... in addition to fearful children ... this philosophy can actually lead to death ... as was the case for precious little Lydia Schatz.

Let me know if you write a blog post on this critical parenting issue. I believe it would be a GOOD THING to spread the word about the dangers of these principles, which are clearly NOT Biblical. I read that the Pearls made over $1.8 million in 2008 from the sales of these very books. Now, THAT is scary!!! Even if you have not personally heard of the Pearls' ministry, it is BIG ... and it needs to be STOPPED!

If you'd like to read others' thoughts on the topic ...
MommyLife has written 5 posts about the Pearls, since Lydia's death.
TulipGirl has a long list of Christian leaders and ministries that have spoken out against the Pearls' child training methods.
TulipGirl even wrote a post about them back in March 2005. Very interesting.
WorldMagazine has a blog post about it, as well.

Finally, in Avoiding Millstones, I found heartfelt words of encouragement in "An Open Letter to Those who Advocate Spanking".
That was a great review, Laurel. Thank you for allowing me to repost.
These reviews, friends, aren't written only by people who don't use spanking. These reviews are written by Christians and non-Christians, spankers and non-spankers, basically every kind of concerned, appalled parent.

This post was written by a woman who is the friend of the family being charged in the death of their child, after following the Pearls' methods.
PLEASE don't follow these "guidelines." Please don't encourage others to follow such a messed-up philosophy. And, if you see someone spanking their children excessively, SAY SOMETHING. Who else will stand up for that child? How many lives could be saved, if someone would simply stand up and say something?

On Divorce of a Christian

I'll be upfront. I have a bone to pick.

One of my dear, dear friends is in a bad situation, and has been for nearly 10 years. She's been ignored, emotionally abused, insulted. She was abandoned for over a year-- and I mean abandonment in the full sense of the word. Her husband left. Moved out. Provided zero financial assistance, and very little correspondence. There were vague promises to return "sometime soon." For me, that would have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Gosh, no, who am I kidding? The second, third, fiftieth time that her husband left on a Friday and failed to return for days, or even call... I would have changed the locks.
Just being honest.
Love does not mistreat and abuse. Love does not intentionally cause pain. That is not love.



Like me, my friend is a Christian. Unfortunately, she is married to a man who has never professed any kind of faith. He holds himself to no "rules" or morals. And, c'mon, even unbelievers can hold themselves to standards and be good spouses. Unbelief should not be used as an excuse for rotten behaviour. And I do hear that argument quite often, "oh, well, he's unsaved, so how can we expect anything different?" Hogwash. I've known many non-Christians who were intelligent, respectable people.

My bone is that supposedly well-meaning Christian friends comment in passing that they will pray for her... that she should stay "because that's what the Bible says," and then they carry on their way. They don't see the damage, the destruction, the aftermath of the storms. They didn't see a woman sobbing for days, weeks, years. They didn't watch this woman crying out in labor, whose husband had just left to catch a plane for a party (YES, while she was in LABOR.) They don't see the children who are growing up fatherless...but emotionally abused when he is actually in the picture.

Here's the kicker. He says he doesn't want a family anymore. He's not "in love" anymore. He wants to leave.

What does the Bible say about this? Well-meaning Christian sites, like Got Questions, quote 1 Cor 7, to back up their Stay Married Advice:

"12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not
a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And
if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with
her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified
through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her
believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they
are holy. "

Ah, yes.
But the next verse has been conveniently left off:

"15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing
man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in
peace. "

Her husband wants to leave. For crying out loud people, give the woman sound advice: LET THE MAN LEAVE. Give her no guilt trips. No superficial comments. Offer good advice or no advice at all. Never guilt someone into staying in a bad relationship, if you can't possibly know the devastation of the family.

Though by no means God's desire "from the beginning," it will likely be best for all concerned if he does leave. Scripture gives room for this. God's heart is for us. For our protection.

We can't be legalists with the law. How biased and prejudiced can people get?

Some people will believe and push anything but the text, and "a text without a context is a pretext."

My heart breaks for this woman and her children. And my blood boils when I hear others encouraging her to stay, endure, and "do the right thing." Doesn't she deserve a chance at a normal life? Should she worry every day about whether her husband is even coming home? And if he'll be sober when he does? Does she need the credit card debt piling up on her, when she has been the only breadwinner for years, sometimes working 2 or 3 jobs to pay the bills? Should she try to make a man stay, who says that he wants to leave?

Now, really stop and pray for her. For the kids. My prayer is that the man will either shape up or ship out. God is in the business of performing miracles... but He doesn't change people without their willingness. Saul had a rude awakening and some convincing signs, but ultimately he had to open his heart, before God would work that metamorphosis in his life.

Joy comes in the morning OR keeping little hands busy!

A friend sent me a great article a few days (weeks?) ago by Heavenly Homemakers. The title caught my attention: These Kids are Driving Me CRAZY! Click over and read it.

I reread it yesterday on my Bad Day. And I soon realized that the first thing to go wrong (well, besides being peed on) was my missed devotions. My heart started off all wrong. I'm not saying that I was to blame for all of my kids misbehavior, but simply that the misbehavior might not have even occurred if I had been on top of the ball. Or maybe I just would have handled it better. My routine slipped, I was tired and frustrated... and I continued to grow more tired and frustrated as each incident broke loose. In retrospect, I can think of many opportunities I had to turn my day around. Yes, I did *try* to reason with the kids, through bribery, fun activities, threats. That sounds like a great plan now, doesn't it? I think I even sent up one of those, "Oh, God help me" prayers.

But as I went to bed last night, I knew my heart was not right. Agh. I'm a strong character, huh? A little fighting, dirt, and pee totally threw me off my game.

Sooooo, I determined NOT to make the same mistakes today. I did get up before the kids today. And I was not peed on, (thank you, God!) And I began to read. Even before coffee. As I flipped, and read and flipped, and filled myself up, a verse stuck out to me. Actually, it literally stuck out... I had copied on on one of those fluorescent index cards and it was sticking out of the top of my Bible, marking it's spot:

Proverbs 14: ¹ The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Ouch. Conviction. I was not building up yesterday. And, so, ladies and gents (do any gents read??) I decided to build today. And, guess what, it was a GREAT day.

I know there will be hard days (and weeks and maybe even years, as a friend told me.) I know that it won't all be directly because of my own failures. I know that my kids are not perfect, and they never will be. But, as far as it concerns me, I want to do my best. Yesterday was not my best. Today was. And what a difference it made.

First of all, we did our Bible lesson, but not just an in-order-of-the-book lesson. There's nothing wrong with those, but today I needed a little more relevance to their behavior. It wasn't a lecture or finger-wagging session, by any means. They were all smiling, promise! :-)

Then we had a little huddle art-planning-session for the afternoon. So far so good.

When school started, it started and didn't stop. Little hands stayed busy. There really wasn't much time for anyone to think about fighting.

Little Lad did some toddler folder games and lacing shapes. He loves to match things, so I pulled out our recently-completed Number book and Colors and Shapes book.
More pictures of the Number Book here, and more pictures of the Colors and Shapes book here.

Doesn't he have beautiful lashes?

The older kids worked, without complaining!

Dash works on an art project.

(Behind him, you can see the new color of my living room walls!)

We had most of our work done by the time Co-op started. The Artist even had a few minutes to work on her awesome Horse Lapbook. More pictures of it here.

And, when classes were over, it was nice enough to play outside with friends!

"Mom, I think I stepped in something..."

Just playing with the kids...

Hope you had a wonderful day!

Check out what other folks are doing with their preschoolers, and get inspired,

here at The Preschool Corner.

We joined!

Sunday we joined a fantastic church.

I've been to my fair share of churches all over the country. I've visited the deep southern Baptist churches in South Carolina, with paper fans next to the hymnals. I've been to reverent Episcopalian churches with liturgy readings, real wine passed around in one large cup, and organ music. I've been to Catholic baptisms and Presbyterian lock-ins and everything in between. The only church that I've ever enjoyed as much as our new home church was Santa Cruz Bible Church. Loved that.

Now, granted, I know it's fine and dandy for people to worship in different ways. But for us, this church is just perfect! I'm still awed by the genuine people, incredible music, and the BIBLE being consistently opened, read, taught, and applied. L-O-V-E that!

I was even more astonished when the pastor broached the "difficult subjects" in church. A lot of pastors wouldn't touch election topics with a 10-foot pole. Or they might take the easy way out, with a vague prayer and no solid leadership.

But not our pastor.

He brought up three major voting issues.

First the lottery. Did you know this is the 6th time since 1990 that we've voted on the lottery? Now it comes with a tacked on promise of college scholarship money... bwa ha ha ha. As if we'll fall for that. This has failed 6 times for a reason. It is bad news.

As our pastor put it, "I'm not going to tell you how to vote, but vote AGAINST Amendment 3!"

Next up, he talked about an act that will prevent adoptive and foster care children from being placed in homes with homosexual couple and other individuals who are cohabiting with a sexual partner.The sanctity of marriage is under attack. From our pastor: "I'm not telling you how to vote, but vote FOR Act 1." Amen, brother.

Now for the biggie: Abortion. Yes, it's the horrid topic that no one likes to talk about. Why? Because the liberals like to call it "women's rights," as if that somehow masks what is actually taking place, and Christians just get sick to their stomachs. And we should. But we should also do something! Every one has a voice. Together we are the body of Christ. We can't possibly stand as one unless everyone is willing to do their part. No side liners in this game.

"First they came for the Jews, but I did nothing because I'm not a Jew. Then they came for the socialists, but I did nothing because I'm not a socialist. Then they came for the Catholics, but I did nothing because I'm not a Catholic. Finally, they came for me, but by then there was no one left to help me."

– Pastor Father Niemoller (1946)

Yesterday we studied Matthew 18. The littlest ones are the concern of our Father. Again quoting our pastor,"What must God think when Christians vote against His eternal principles?"

On January 22, 1973, five men in robes, in a judicial system gone wrong, legalized abortion. Since then 50 million babies have died. Because of five men. This was not a vote by the people. (And, by the way, Norma McCorvey, known under the pseudonym Jane Roe, never actually got an abortion. In fact, she is now a fierce pro-life advocate who founded the Roe No More ministry .)

The next president will be appointing supreme court justices during the next four years. Right now 5 of the 9 justices are over 70 years old. This may be the only chance we have to overturn this law.

Vote based on principles. Get out of your circle. Talk to people who may not agree with you. Be loving, respectful, but passionate and knowledgeable about the topics. Educate others about what these candidates stand for. Get out of your comfort zone a little. If each one of us could change one person's thinking (and their vote,) we could redirect this nation. Lives truly are at stake here.

Regardless of the outcome, God is in control.

I'll get off of the political bandwagon soon, but this has been on my mind. And where better to vent than my own blog? :-)

This is not a debate. This is not open to criticism. These are simply my thoughts on my blog. Take it for what it is.

A friend of a friend wrote this. Funny, witty, English professor post on the same topic. :-) Enjoy!

Do Hard Things (Guest Blogger-- my sister)

My sister Julie just read and recommended a book called Do Hard Things, which I am now reading (and loving.) She is my guest blogger for the day! Enjoy!

Do Hard Things
I have a mean little censor that follows me around, and has for years. My censor is an actual person, a person in my life who at times has made me feel torn-down, stupid, small, and laughable. At least, my censor started out as this person, and then morphed and grew into something a bit different, a bit twistedly combined with other things, maybe a bit meaner. It's hard to admit about my censor because I'm embarrassed that I've let them bother me for so long--more than bother, actually; more like stunt, hinder, discourage. And I am sure for certain that this person has no idea how much they have impacted my life in some ways (and I know that's not their problem but mine. No one is responsible for my decisions but me, and I can't blame them or anyone for my own actions or inactions. Still, I wish people would realize how they really can and do affect others in good or negative, and often lasting ways...and I need to remember that, too. I've done my share of damage with careless actions and words.)

I'm tempted to think that none of you are following what I'm saying right now. But I don't believe that, actually. We all know that a hurtful remark can stick with you for days, years, or even all your life. If someone defines you in an unkind way, that label has an awful way of bonding to you like krazy glue (which Owen put on his cheek last week, but the way, but that story is for another post on another blog!). I gave my censor some of that power, (power I'm convinced they had and have no idea of) and when I let that become part of the fabric of my thought and my self-image, it became something that affected me often. It, in part, contributed to preventing me from taking risks, from doing things that I might fail at (because then I was sure my censor would be out there laughing somewhere, and letting others in on the joke). It often kept me from speaking out boldly, because my censor might label me this or that according to what I stood for or spoke up for. I often (not always) let myself allow this embellished, ever-present, exaggerated censor cause me to take the safe and boring and pitiful and unadmirable route to places in life.

And my censor still hangs around. It's a lot quieter, a lot smaller, a lot more irrelevant to my feelings than it ever was before, but it sometimes still wiggles its way in before I even realize what's happening. I'm having to ignore my censor right this moment, in fact, so that I can write my real, true thoughts on this blog.

A couple of days ago, while reading a book, I was filled with some conflicting emotions: part of me felt sad and ashamed, and part of me felt joyful and inspired. I'm reading a book called Do Hard Things, written by teenage twin boys who are challenging their generation to rise above the low expectations of society (I can hear my censor snort skeptically). When I heard about it, it really appealed to me, though it's written for teenagers; in fact, I think that was part of its appeal. Because, honestly, though I may not look like I'm 15 any more, I sure do feel like it in terms of my spiritual and intellectual growth, and many of my life experiences (or lack thereof)(in the area of motherhood and marriage I feel more mature, and so very blessed to have been able to have and experience these wonderful things, but here I'm talking about me as a part of society, as a person, and as a child of God.). I didn't expect as I read the book to come across a wonderful answer to a prayer I began praying back in May.

The book writes about a 16 year old girl named Katrina Martin who loves clothing and anything to do with it, and always has (sounds like me!). She wants to go into fashion when she grows up, but there's a catch: she wants the clothes she designs to be modest. She said that first she had a desire to dress well, and then that grew into a desire to please God with how she dressed. But she had a little problem: She really couldn't figure out what modesty meant. The book writes, "She knew modesty was a heart issue, but also a clothing issue. She was puzzled by the lack of resources, and she was especially frusterated that nothing she found presented views on modesty from Christian guys' point of view." Reading that reminded me of my own question to God that I started asking several months ago. "What is modesty, really? How do you pin it down? It seems to be different for everyone. How do I figure out what you want of me?"

It's like I wrote in my first Whatever Is Lovely post: "We live in a world where there are so many pressures, so many things pulling on us. We live in a gray world where there are some tough questions that need to be asked and answers to be sought. What is right, what is wrong? I know my husband is created by God to be visually stimulated and I want to be attractive for him. Where’s the line of how to be beautiful for your husband without being a stumbling-block to other men?"

Where's the line? How could I know, if it's such a hazy area? (Plus, what would my censor and others like them say? Won't they laugh at me and call me extreme? Won't they think I am legalistic? Won't they say that I want to be modest because I'm a judgemental baptist and this has something to do with the church I go to? Maybe the "real person" censor would say that, maybe not. But the hybrid, exaggerated, twisted censor that is reading this over my shoulder is laughing scornfully in my ear. But what I know is that I'm not doing this to impose unnecessary rules on myself. And I'm definitely not doing this to please anyone at my church, where I certainly will never win a popularity contest. And I just don't think of myself as a "baptist" or any denomination. I go to a baptist church because it matches most closely with my own interpretation of the bible, but I disagree with a few things our church generally believes. I find my pastor's sermons to be wonderful, intelligent, interesting, and founded on the words of the bible, and I feel that I learn a lot on Sundays (sunday school is great, too). But if my pastor were to say something that I felt conflicted with something the bible says, or was added as a side-note but not based on scripture, then I would reject it in the first case and take it with a grain of salt in the second case. My relationship with God is my motivation and truth--my censor is laughing here saying "Sure it is." and is calling me self-righteous--but anyway, I don't need a pastor or a church to be my conscience or my brain, because God gave me those things for my own. My censor would say that I don't watch certain movies or tv shows or read certain books because I'm baptist. I say that I want to do or not do things to please God, and I say if the bible tells me to do or not do something, that's good enough for me; I don't need it confirmed by a pastor to make me want to do it or not do it. My censor is labelling me but I'm sick of being labelled. I'm a person who wants to follow God. Label me that, and that's it.)

Well, I prayed what for me was a difficult thing to pray--for something that seemed impossible to get an answer to that I could actually apply to my life. But God proves as always that He's way bigger than the impossible.

Katrina, with the help of others, took the initiative and made an anonymous survey for guys and girls to take, posing statements like, "Low cut-shirts are a stumbling block." and then letting people rate that statement on a scale from "Strongly agree" to "strongly disagree." Then the voters were also allowed to comment on each particular statement and their reason for why they chose what they chose. It's an awesome survey and it's presented just as-is, as the results and statements were. In the first 12 hours the survey went online, it got 420,000 hits and actually caused the server to shut down. In other words, lots of people put in their two cents on this.

When I found the survey, I felt like God handed me a very practical reference to how Christian guys feel and what they struggle with. Now I can let my conscience and my daily prayer be my guide. (My censor is saying, "You must think a lot of yourself to think that every guy wants your bod." (-: There's one survey comment that I really liked that I feel explains my take on that. Here's what he wrote: "The most beautiful woman I know doesn't cause me to think impure thoughts about her through her dress. Dressing immodestly is actually less beautiful, and more sexual. A plain woman (not ugly or beautiful) can put on a skin tight pair of pants and a low cut shirt and cause just about any man to lust after her. That doesn't mean she's caused him to think she was beautiful." That's how I think about it. I don't think I am so irresistable that I must be a stumbling block to all guys. But I do think that if I dress in certain ways, I'm going to cause a guy or two to struggle or stumble, simply because of how guys are wired and the fact that I have female body parts. I used to try to get attention from guys with my clevage or short skirt or etc., but now I realize that I may have gotten attention, but I didn't get true admiration. I want to save my seductive side for Adam and Adam only, and try to convey lovliness to the world around me.)

I said I felt a little sad and ashamed when I read about Katrina and her survey. To be honest, I didn't so much feel ashamed because of the way I used to try to get attention because of my poor self-image, as because I didn't actively seek an answer to my question the way Katrina did. The past is in the past and I can leave it there, but I didn't really do anything to move forward from it. I think I know why, too. Because the issue just wasn't quite important enough to me. And because when I'm unsure about what I should do, it's easier to do nothing. If I had sought answers, I'd have had to do something about the answers that I found. I'd have that responsibility on me. I'd have to make a choice. And I only half-heartedly wanted that responsibility. But God helped me anyway, because he loves me so much, and because He's working for my good. He gave me the answers I needed though I barely sought them. He's pushing me to a place of responsibility in this area. Because He knows I'll be so much happier His way than mine.

I felt joyful and inspired when I read about Katrina, first because it was an answer to prayer, and also because it was an encouragement that there are other women out there seeking answers to these kinds of questions--she's ten years younger than me and yet I look up to her for her heart and her persistence. And I believe she will start her own clothing line, and that, with God's help, it will be great.

I know there are probably lots of people who will have differing opinions on this subject, people I totally love and admire. I value and respect those opinions and would like to hear them if anyone wants to say something. I don't want to debate or argue, just to hear and understand where you're coming from, if you have something to say. I still feel like this subject is different for everyone according to what God lays on their heart. I do feel that God has laid this issue on my heart and has given me answers specific to me and my motives and etc., but I believe at any given time God is doing good works in everyone He loves (which is all of us!), and they may not be the same good work at the same time. Maybe he's growing us in different areas at different times. What I know for sure is that 'He who started a good work in each of us is carrying that good work to completion'--each in the way He knows is best. (Also I could say a bunch more on why it's so hard for me to want to dress modestly sometimes, and why I feel like the men in our lives are in part at fault for our struggles with that, but I'll save that for another post, because this one is already frighteningly long!)

Here's a link to the Modesty Survey if you're curious. Click on "Survey Results." Don't be confused when you read a bunch of statements--those aren't the results. You have to actually click on each posed statement and then scroll down to see the consensus (I was confused at first. I was like, "hhhhuuuhhh??") .

Every day, I want to keep trying to figure out what is lovely; how to be the woman God wants me to be. I can see that God is and will keep helping me in this.

I want to, as one person wrote in on the survey,

"Walk like you are a princess of the Kingdom of God."

Love, Julie

What "Good Girls" do and other rambling knockin'-about thoughts when I'm tired

I am one of those mom's who doesn't go out without make-up. Why? Because I usually feel most comfortable with make-up on. Sure, there are those days that I wish I didn't feel the "need" to put it on. But on the whole, I enjoy dressing up. For me, make-up and clothes are almost an art form. It's fun to experiment, dress-up, and "play pretty." Besides, it makes my husband feel special when I take a little extra effort to look nice for him.

On those days that I just don't feel like it, though, I feel obligated to stay home. The make-up thing, while being enjoyable and fun for me, also turns into a crippling weakness at times. When I really look a mess, I feel a mess. If I don't look pulled together I don't feel put together.
And I feel judged.
Women have a bad habit of judging everything from clothes to hair to parenting choices. So your best friend dyes her hair every other week? So what? Does that hurt anyone? Does it ruin her testimony? Does a nose ring mean you aren't a Christian? Does an extra long hem-line mean you are better equipped to serve God? Long hair or short hair? Dyed hair or natural? Public school, private, or homeschool? House immaculate...or a mess? Live by a schedule, or just one moment at a time? Why do people, especially women it seems, get so defensive when others live differently?

Hmmm....I just wonder what compels women to judge, judge, judge each other?

We should be cheering each other on, not judging and demeaning. We should be helping each other.
Mentoring each other.

Jealousy is rife among girls and women. Women frequently react with thinly veiled jealousy when they see other women come into unexpected blessings or succeed in some way. (A success they either don't know how to, or don't feel able to claim for themselves.)

I know there are many women out there who are emotionally starved. And it must be hard to see other women being fed well, when they are starving for that. The reaction to criticize, to put down and to tell other women that they are behaving in an unacceptable manner makes sense at some level if you are famished and desperately crying out, desiring attention, needing help. So I guess the next time I am criticized, I will just look at it as a cry for help! :-)
(Heh heh-- Not that I am ever criticized for anything!! )

Anyway, I've mentioned before how much I LOVE Mothering Matters. I've never been involved in a group before that so purposely puts Titus 2: 3 and 4 to work. (Older women are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children...) Older women, for the most part, seem to be past all the pettiness. We could learn a lot from that. All the "little stuff" doesn't matter so much. Life is about glorifying God, right? Living for HIM. Banding together to worship, to reach others and be a light for the world. Each of us, in our own walks, can live for Him. We can reach others the way no one else can. If we were all alike, just Christian cloned robots, how could we possibly reach and relate to anyone different?

No, it's the blue-hairdo spiky Christian that can reach other blue-hair spiky people. (Or people who think that hair is "totally awesome"...)It's the public school Christians that other p.s. people can relate better to. It's the homeschooled Christ-followers that other homeschoolers might be interested in talking to. So why do we judge differences? I want to be who I am supposed to be...and if that means I have a bright green living room and short red hair and lots of beautiful children who are homeschooled...well, maybe I can strike up a conversation with someone else who likes bright green in their living room!

At any rate, I know God will use me. For me. And I am trying NOT to care what anyone else thinks. Not that I have been let down by people lately, but I've just been thinking a lot about how we tend to stick to standards, live by the norm, and judge anyone who walks a to a different tune, on the same path.
Romans 12: 4-6 "Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith."

Together we are a force to be reckoned with. We are Christ's body. We can make a difference.

Tonight I had a fantastic night with an awesome family. The lovely lady is not only amazingly equipped to reach others, but she desires to with her whole heart. And she equips others to "go and do likewise" simply with the power of encouraging words and a hospitable heart. Ah, what sweet relief it is to be around others who just love others for who they are, differences and all. (Even though I did pull her down with my pathetic attempt at playing Mad Gab. I warned you I was no good!!)

I'm a leper, hear me roar!

The kids have been going to HABC VBS this week. On the first day, The Naturalist came home and told me all about "playing leopard."

He said they put on spot stickers.

And they were sick.

And couldn't see their families.

Aha! Do you mean "leper," Honey?

My sweet Naturalist. It made perfect sense to him that they would have him pretend to be a sick leopard for awhile.

Going Up?

This morning Live Wire ran into the living room completely decked out in prison garb, with a Darth Vader mask, and a cowboy hat on (at least he's clothed, right??) He shouts, "Look at me, Mommy, I'm Elevator!"

By the way, yesterday was a MUCH better day, despite the bad sunburn on the back of my neck. Can't believe I missed getting sunscreen on that much skin! And despite the horrid bee sting on my left foot. On the bright side, I got to spend a couple hours with a dear friend at the pool. And The bee died after stinging me.

(Just so you know, ice and toothpaste are the best remedies for bee sting.)