The decorating bug!

Okay, come on. You can tell me. What have you been up to?? I know I'm not alone in the household jitteries. Christmas was barely over when I started packing all the stuff away. It's so beautiful and fun to decorate...but then it seems to suffocate me and my house. Just too much STUFF. So away it went, back to the attic and shed to await another crisp November day.

And then it happened. I was bit by the decorating bug. "Things must change," the little critter whispered. "Do this." and then "what about that?"

And before I know it I'm painting and modge podging, and the kids are finger-painting and doing block creations, side walk chalk, and sculptures.

I received some beautiful papers for Christmas.

Remember my philosophies regarding my home? "It doesn't have to be perfect to be Beautiful" (from the Nester, of course,) and "Why NOT?" Anything is fair game if I enjoy it. As long as it makes me smile (and my husband can live with it,) then it passes the test. What freedom and fun!!

This is a pic of the counter side, in progress. See all those scuff marks and doodly drawings? Away they went, under cover of whimsy paper.

And here is the finished project. Something sweet, colorful, cheerful...

I modge podge my stuff on, and then spray it with this wonderful stuff:

Spray it on a nice day, so you can open the windows. This stuff is smelly!

Next I went after the kitchen/schoolroom door. The new color plus Nature Man's rocket picture made it perfect!

Then the sewing table at the end of the hall. It was plain white before. Wish I had thought to take "before photos."

Isn't this fun paper?! Ahhhh.... refreshing.

When I ran out of obvious stuff to glue paper to, I began rearranging, and bringing nature treasures in. I love these wild sticks. Mrs. Smiley and I gathered them on a hike the other day. (I still have yours, by the way.)

Some here, some there, some everywhere, even on the lights. :-) That is definitely a smile-inducer for me. I love nature, sunshine, and God's creation is certainly better than anything I could create to go up there!

Oh, and here's a plate I moved. See the new wire birdie that my sis gave me? I know, it's not a great picture. Trust me, the bird is precious.

So, what have you been up to?
Give me some more ideas! :-)

Mr. Sucky

We like to have fun. We bake cookies ALL the time. We can often be caught doing schoolwork in costumes. Or dancing to Jack Johnson music. Or "shaking our sillies out."

And I love keeping up with the house, but it just wasn't *FUN* anymore. Not until now.

Enter Mr. Sucky (yes, he actually has a nametag that reads, "My name is Mr.Sucky the Sucker." The Nature Man named him.)

Oh, yeah, he's a bLASt!!

Do Hard Things (Guest Blogger-- my sister)

My sister Julie just read and recommended a book called Do Hard Things, which I am now reading (and loving.) She is my guest blogger for the day! Enjoy!

Do Hard Things
I have a mean little censor that follows me around, and has for years. My censor is an actual person, a person in my life who at times has made me feel torn-down, stupid, small, and laughable. At least, my censor started out as this person, and then morphed and grew into something a bit different, a bit twistedly combined with other things, maybe a bit meaner. It's hard to admit about my censor because I'm embarrassed that I've let them bother me for so long--more than bother, actually; more like stunt, hinder, discourage. And I am sure for certain that this person has no idea how much they have impacted my life in some ways (and I know that's not their problem but mine. No one is responsible for my decisions but me, and I can't blame them or anyone for my own actions or inactions. Still, I wish people would realize how they really can and do affect others in good or negative, and often lasting ways...and I need to remember that, too. I've done my share of damage with careless actions and words.)

I'm tempted to think that none of you are following what I'm saying right now. But I don't believe that, actually. We all know that a hurtful remark can stick with you for days, years, or even all your life. If someone defines you in an unkind way, that label has an awful way of bonding to you like krazy glue (which Owen put on his cheek last week, but the way, but that story is for another post on another blog!). I gave my censor some of that power, (power I'm convinced they had and have no idea of) and when I let that become part of the fabric of my thought and my self-image, it became something that affected me often. It, in part, contributed to preventing me from taking risks, from doing things that I might fail at (because then I was sure my censor would be out there laughing somewhere, and letting others in on the joke). It often kept me from speaking out boldly, because my censor might label me this or that according to what I stood for or spoke up for. I often (not always) let myself allow this embellished, ever-present, exaggerated censor cause me to take the safe and boring and pitiful and unadmirable route to places in life.

And my censor still hangs around. It's a lot quieter, a lot smaller, a lot more irrelevant to my feelings than it ever was before, but it sometimes still wiggles its way in before I even realize what's happening. I'm having to ignore my censor right this moment, in fact, so that I can write my real, true thoughts on this blog.

A couple of days ago, while reading a book, I was filled with some conflicting emotions: part of me felt sad and ashamed, and part of me felt joyful and inspired. I'm reading a book called Do Hard Things, written by teenage twin boys who are challenging their generation to rise above the low expectations of society (I can hear my censor snort skeptically). When I heard about it, it really appealed to me, though it's written for teenagers; in fact, I think that was part of its appeal. Because, honestly, though I may not look like I'm 15 any more, I sure do feel like it in terms of my spiritual and intellectual growth, and many of my life experiences (or lack thereof)(in the area of motherhood and marriage I feel more mature, and so very blessed to have been able to have and experience these wonderful things, but here I'm talking about me as a part of society, as a person, and as a child of God.). I didn't expect as I read the book to come across a wonderful answer to a prayer I began praying back in May.

The book writes about a 16 year old girl named Katrina Martin who loves clothing and anything to do with it, and always has (sounds like me!). She wants to go into fashion when she grows up, but there's a catch: she wants the clothes she designs to be modest. She said that first she had a desire to dress well, and then that grew into a desire to please God with how she dressed. But she had a little problem: She really couldn't figure out what modesty meant. The book writes, "She knew modesty was a heart issue, but also a clothing issue. She was puzzled by the lack of resources, and she was especially frusterated that nothing she found presented views on modesty from Christian guys' point of view." Reading that reminded me of my own question to God that I started asking several months ago. "What is modesty, really? How do you pin it down? It seems to be different for everyone. How do I figure out what you want of me?"

It's like I wrote in my first Whatever Is Lovely post: "We live in a world where there are so many pressures, so many things pulling on us. We live in a gray world where there are some tough questions that need to be asked and answers to be sought. What is right, what is wrong? I know my husband is created by God to be visually stimulated and I want to be attractive for him. Where’s the line of how to be beautiful for your husband without being a stumbling-block to other men?"

Where's the line? How could I know, if it's such a hazy area? (Plus, what would my censor and others like them say? Won't they laugh at me and call me extreme? Won't they think I am legalistic? Won't they say that I want to be modest because I'm a judgemental baptist and this has something to do with the church I go to? Maybe the "real person" censor would say that, maybe not. But the hybrid, exaggerated, twisted censor that is reading this over my shoulder is laughing scornfully in my ear. But what I know is that I'm not doing this to impose unnecessary rules on myself. And I'm definitely not doing this to please anyone at my church, where I certainly will never win a popularity contest. And I just don't think of myself as a "baptist" or any denomination. I go to a baptist church because it matches most closely with my own interpretation of the bible, but I disagree with a few things our church generally believes. I find my pastor's sermons to be wonderful, intelligent, interesting, and founded on the words of the bible, and I feel that I learn a lot on Sundays (sunday school is great, too). But if my pastor were to say something that I felt conflicted with something the bible says, or was added as a side-note but not based on scripture, then I would reject it in the first case and take it with a grain of salt in the second case. My relationship with God is my motivation and truth--my censor is laughing here saying "Sure it is." and is calling me self-righteous--but anyway, I don't need a pastor or a church to be my conscience or my brain, because God gave me those things for my own. My censor would say that I don't watch certain movies or tv shows or read certain books because I'm baptist. I say that I want to do or not do things to please God, and I say if the bible tells me to do or not do something, that's good enough for me; I don't need it confirmed by a pastor to make me want to do it or not do it. My censor is labelling me but I'm sick of being labelled. I'm a person who wants to follow God. Label me that, and that's it.)

Well, I prayed what for me was a difficult thing to pray--for something that seemed impossible to get an answer to that I could actually apply to my life. But God proves as always that He's way bigger than the impossible.

Katrina, with the help of others, took the initiative and made an anonymous survey for guys and girls to take, posing statements like, "Low cut-shirts are a stumbling block." and then letting people rate that statement on a scale from "Strongly agree" to "strongly disagree." Then the voters were also allowed to comment on each particular statement and their reason for why they chose what they chose. It's an awesome survey and it's presented just as-is, as the results and statements were. In the first 12 hours the survey went online, it got 420,000 hits and actually caused the server to shut down. In other words, lots of people put in their two cents on this.

When I found the survey, I felt like God handed me a very practical reference to how Christian guys feel and what they struggle with. Now I can let my conscience and my daily prayer be my guide. (My censor is saying, "You must think a lot of yourself to think that every guy wants your bod." (-: There's one survey comment that I really liked that I feel explains my take on that. Here's what he wrote: "The most beautiful woman I know doesn't cause me to think impure thoughts about her through her dress. Dressing immodestly is actually less beautiful, and more sexual. A plain woman (not ugly or beautiful) can put on a skin tight pair of pants and a low cut shirt and cause just about any man to lust after her. That doesn't mean she's caused him to think she was beautiful." That's how I think about it. I don't think I am so irresistable that I must be a stumbling block to all guys. But I do think that if I dress in certain ways, I'm going to cause a guy or two to struggle or stumble, simply because of how guys are wired and the fact that I have female body parts. I used to try to get attention from guys with my clevage or short skirt or etc., but now I realize that I may have gotten attention, but I didn't get true admiration. I want to save my seductive side for Adam and Adam only, and try to convey lovliness to the world around me.)

I said I felt a little sad and ashamed when I read about Katrina and her survey. To be honest, I didn't so much feel ashamed because of the way I used to try to get attention because of my poor self-image, as because I didn't actively seek an answer to my question the way Katrina did. The past is in the past and I can leave it there, but I didn't really do anything to move forward from it. I think I know why, too. Because the issue just wasn't quite important enough to me. And because when I'm unsure about what I should do, it's easier to do nothing. If I had sought answers, I'd have had to do something about the answers that I found. I'd have that responsibility on me. I'd have to make a choice. And I only half-heartedly wanted that responsibility. But God helped me anyway, because he loves me so much, and because He's working for my good. He gave me the answers I needed though I barely sought them. He's pushing me to a place of responsibility in this area. Because He knows I'll be so much happier His way than mine.

I felt joyful and inspired when I read about Katrina, first because it was an answer to prayer, and also because it was an encouragement that there are other women out there seeking answers to these kinds of questions--she's ten years younger than me and yet I look up to her for her heart and her persistence. And I believe she will start her own clothing line, and that, with God's help, it will be great.

I know there are probably lots of people who will have differing opinions on this subject, people I totally love and admire. I value and respect those opinions and would like to hear them if anyone wants to say something. I don't want to debate or argue, just to hear and understand where you're coming from, if you have something to say. I still feel like this subject is different for everyone according to what God lays on their heart. I do feel that God has laid this issue on my heart and has given me answers specific to me and my motives and etc., but I believe at any given time God is doing good works in everyone He loves (which is all of us!), and they may not be the same good work at the same time. Maybe he's growing us in different areas at different times. What I know for sure is that 'He who started a good work in each of us is carrying that good work to completion'--each in the way He knows is best. (Also I could say a bunch more on why it's so hard for me to want to dress modestly sometimes, and why I feel like the men in our lives are in part at fault for our struggles with that, but I'll save that for another post, because this one is already frighteningly long!)

Here's a link to the Modesty Survey if you're curious. Click on "Survey Results." Don't be confused when you read a bunch of statements--those aren't the results. You have to actually click on each posed statement and then scroll down to see the consensus (I was confused at first. I was like, "hhhhuuuhhh??") .

Every day, I want to keep trying to figure out what is lovely; how to be the woman God wants me to be. I can see that God is and will keep helping me in this.

I want to, as one person wrote in on the survey,

"Walk like you are a princess of the Kingdom of God."

Love, Julie

Trying new homeschool methods

I've been homeschooling since The Artist was in kindergarten, so this makes our 4th year. But I am still learning, adapting, changing things as we go. I guess that makes sense, because my children are also learning, changing and adapting. What worked for us last year may not continue to work through this year. Or last month to this month, for that matter.

There are so many choices and options out there that it makes my head spin at times. I find one thing that will be "just perfect" for the Nature Man. Another tool or book that is suited for Dash. And other materials, of course, that work for my Artist. So I end up with a huge modge podge of materials, with introductions to new things weekly.

Of course, we still have our basic structure that we stick to. Bible in the morning, then read-alouds during breakfast (I'm currently reading Heidi to the kids.) Then we do our meeting time in the living room, with the calendar, clock, and counting. This is when I should do the pledge, but I always seem to forget after the first month or so of school.

~Note to self: start pledge again tomorrow.~"In God we trust..."

I like the idea of the Unit Studies approach, with clear connections under each topic. For instance, a Pioneer Days theme might include reading and writing about the times and people, making a craft representative of Pioneer times and gaining skills by cooking a meal from Pioneer recipes and learning Pioneer songs. I think this would really help the boys. I bought the Konos unit studies and I've been enjoying those. Lots of work, lots of hands-on. I have to really pick-and-choose how much to do, or I won't have time for any of our more classical readings.

I also love the Classical method, which particularly suits my eldest. There is a definitive body of knowledge found in the great books that have been passed down to us through the centuries. I really enjoy the Charlotte Mason method. In addition to classic lit, she emphasizes the importance of being outside and learning from creation, which I love. This combines two of my greatest loves: nature and reading.

All this to say, I know what I like, but I can't always seem to get it all done. I tried the Managers of Their Homes rigid scheduling. I know it doesn't have to be rigid, but if I have a schedule posted, then I tend to let it rule me. We could abide by it until about lunchtime, and then other matters crept into the picture...things not on the schedule. And, since I tend to be a black and white thinker, the moment we were off-schedule, the schedule went entirely out the window. Of course, by lunchtime we had our "serious" work done anyway, and then we could just relax and focus on music and art and being outside. Still "school stuff."

I've decided now that we just need a basic plan. And the kids need to be more responsible for the plan. I can't keep telling them to focus, finish this up, check on that, sit back down, and so on. Frankly, I don't care of they hang upside down and do their reading, just so long as it gets done and they are comprehending it. :-) The more fun the better, right? So I've started the "drawer method." No, this is not a technical term. Heh.

I just have one of those little plastic caddy things with three drawers. The kids each have their own drawer with their name on it. All of their work, readings, etc for that day are ready, in their drawer, when they wake up. Besides Bible and group time and readings, they can do drawer work in any order they want, just so long as it's done by the time their Daddy gets home. Now, granted, there is still quite a bit of oversight at this point, or 1st grade Nature Man would be lazy all day and wait until the last couple hours to speed through all of his work. I do make him work on something, but he gets to choose. He always puts reading last, little bugger.

Every time they finish a page or chapter, they put it at the bottom of the drawer, under the work to be done. When it's all done, the drawer is put back in the caddy. I try to check their work as they go, and have them correct things immediately. Then Daddy looks over all the work after supper. So far this new method seems to be working. I've only had one day in the last two weeks when one of the kids has had to work into the evening. Of course, it was Nature Man.

I'm always curious about the methods that other people use, but I've noticed that parents can be particularly guarded about their schedules and philosophies. Can't say I blame anyone. My mother-in-law commented the other day that the homeschooler down the street from them was "always outside playing after lunch." As if there was a problem with that. I actually laughed out loud at her, and then shook my head in disbelief. Some people are so ignorant. Why shouldn't a child be playing outside after lunch? Don't even public school children play outside during the day, weather permitting? And isn't it best to learn about nature by being in nature? That's the immersion method, right? :-) Believe it or not, children can even read outside. Or listen to stories being read. Mine seem to manage it just fine.

In general, I think that school for boys is much harder. They want to move and wiggle. They seem to have a harder time staying focused for very long....although Nature Man can watch a grasshopper or snake for hours.... so I guess it's really about being motivated in those things that are less fun for him. And finding ways to make things more fun, whenever possible.

Sooooo,anyway, that's us.Just "thinking out loud."

knee stress and house mess

Two things:
First, I hurt my knee. I'm not sure how... maybe it was from hanging upside down on the monkey bars with the kids during a picnic playdate on Thursday. Or maybe it was from riding Trevor around on my back, on all fours, yesterday. Or it could be that I fell down when I was trying to chase Isabelle around the van. Man, that kid is fast. She puts me to shame.

At any rate, I look like an old woman trying to get up off the floor. The knee hurts. Ugh.
I'm not even 30! I'm not supposed to have a hurt knee! I'm still supposed to be bouncing around. So. Anyway, Just needed to complain.

Second thing: I need to be okay with the messy house. I get WAY too stressed when my house is cluttery. But, let's face it: 4 small kids + 1 cozy cottage + 1 rather sloppy husband = MESS.
A wonderful friend gave me some good advice about a week ago: she simply said that I need to NOT CARE. Let it go. Relax. If the hallway is messy, I can still do reading with the kids. Go outside, if necessary. Do the important things first, not the "urgent things" (yes, I realize that hallway cleaning may not seem urgent, but you don't live in my brain. I may have some OCD tendencies. For one thing, I can't handle food on the floor. UGH. Or clothes. Or even toys, for that matter, unless they are in the playroom. Which is why, you see, my dear friend told me to put the blinders on and FOCUS on the "real stuff. It's not as if I was ever realizing my dream of the perfectly clean house anyway. And would I be satisfied if I got it, or would I just move on to toilet and tub scrubbing, as I've been known to do? Okay, enough in parenthesis already!)

So, there you have it. I'm determined that for ONE week (must start with baby steps!), I will let some things go. I will laugh when I usually cringe. I will focus on just being outside and reading and having fun, and I will not worry. I do a lot of "FUN" stuff and outside stuff anyway, but I usually have this nagging worrying tone in my head that says "and what if someone stops over? And shouldn't the house be clean for Fred when he gets home?" (ha, as if he cares!!) Shut up, voice. Enough.

So I warn you right now that my open door policy has temporarily been revoked, until I come to terms with my new focus. Call first. Please. Don't make me suffer needlessly. ;-) And, above all, when you do call first and then you come over to a messier-than-usual home, say only good things. (which is good advice anyway!!) :-) Thank you in advance.

Oh, and just for the record, I only hold myself to those standards. When I visit friends I couldn't care less how their house looks. Ironic, isn't it?

little girls are made of...

We went to such a sweet "slumber party" (the theme, not an actual slumber party) on Saturday night. Isabelle is the one in all pink PJ's, (top, second from left.)
The girls played dress-up, sang and danced to Hannah Montana (I didn't even realize this girl singer had a TV show until Suzanne enlightened me.) Then they played outside, made body scrubs, ate pizza and then cake. I love parties-- especially full of cute little dressed up girls!!

Isabelle and I are already making plans for her summer bday. :-) We usually stick to a pool theme, since it's the hottest part of summer. I'd love to veer away from that this year, and do something that would encourage the girls to get more playtime together. There are so many neat themes and ideas. I need to come up with something crafty, fun, but not expensive. Hmmm...

Any ideas?

Homemade Playdough

This morning we made Homemade Play Dough:

Double this for a large batch.

1 cup flour

1/2 cup salt

1 cup water

1 T vegetable oil

3 T cream of tartar

Coloring, see below.
Mix all ingredients together in a pot and cook over medium heat while stirring constantly (use a wooden or metal spoon, because this gets rather stiff) until it makes a ball. This happens faster than you'd think. It only takes 4 to 5 minutes for a double batch.

Turn the ball out on the counter and knead it (careful, it's warm) for a minute or two. Use Food Coloring or tempera paint. Or, for a nice smell and bright color, knead in a small package of Kool-Aid.

Start with a small amount of color and mix, adding more until you have the shade you want.

I used paint this time.

Let cool before you hand it over to the kids. Enjoy!

Store in airtight container in refrigerator to make it last several weeks.

After school, I made corn bread for the beans, and made french bread. It's a miracle that the corn bread turned out as well as it did. When my back was turned, my helper (Trevor, of course!) dumped the WHOLE container of baking soda in!! Luckily, I saw it before he stirred, and I think I was able to get most of it out. I'll tell ya, it's an adventure to bake with a toddler! ;-)

Here are a couple of Titanic pictures, one of my family and the other is a "boarding pass."

Tired of pretending...

I'm tired. Tired of holding it all together. Sometimes I really feel like I am near my breaking point. I'd love to be one of those "perfect" homeschool moms. You know, the ones with the working schedule, nice and tidy house, daily experiments, and clean baby. But, no, I just can't do it. I've tried and tried and I just get totally stressed out, sleep-deprived, and start to lose my mind.

I have so many weaknesses and faults. How can I overcome all of this? How can I keep my focus and get my priorities straight? I'm always hesitant to post how I really feel, because I know that my sisters read this, my grandparents read this. I want to "save face" and look good. Doesn't everyone want to *seem* like they have it together? Ah, but it's just an act.

Some days I feel like I'm doing so well. We get our lessons done in a timely manner, do hands-on activities, the kids get along. They are often complimented in public, and then I think that I must be doing something right. But we come home and they scream at each other, occasionally hit each other, run down the hall naked, play in paint under the table, you name it. And then I'm wondering if I'm doing everything wrong. Surely I'm not just responsible for the "good stuff" ....and all the bad stuff comes from the immaturity of their age. Am I not responsible for both?

Not that I expect them to be perfect. But, wait...do I expect that? Nah. I even laughed at the whole paint thing. And I don't mind them getting messy when they play. I would never want my kids to judge themselves according to their appearance or what they can accomplish... so why do I hold myself to those standards?

Sometimes I'm so petty. I want to look good and be productive ALL the time. I get very down on myself when my house is terribly messy (although I would never judge someone else based on that very thing!) or our school doesn't get done. I feel so inadequate. And I know that I am. I know that I need God's help. But like one of my favorite authors, Philip Yancey, says, it's hard to know HOW to get God's help. Do you audibly hear Him giving you advice? Do you feel Him actually restraining you when you head down the wrong path? Maybe I'm just not close enough in my relationship right now. :-( I'm beginning to feel so far away...

Does everyone sometimes feel like they're sinking? It's a passing feeling, thankfully. Tomorrow may start completely differently and I'll be a "competent" mom again. But today-- it just started all wrong and I handled it all wrong. Then, even as I considered this and decided to change, I began to act the same way again!! Grrrr.... I know that Satan will use anything he can against us, even our own families and good intentions. The kids began to bicker and I get frustrated. Hmph.

Anyway, I'll post VDay pics soon, of our homeschool party & Trev's FBC class party. Hope you all had a good one!!

Learning styles and structure

Okay, here's the question of the day: How do you structure your "school time" and what is your child's learning style? If you don't have a child, then what is YOUR learning style and structure? I know not all of us homeschool, but all of us DO indeed teach our children, so the question still applies.

For our family, I prefer working on a schedule. That's not to say that I'm usually successful at it, though. I just find that we get more done when we have a general time frame to work by. The kids know what to expect and I don't worry all day about when I'm going to get other necessary things done. Our plan went much better before #4 was born. :-) That's okay... he's certainly worth every interruption!!

As far as learning styles, Isabelle is like me. She could read books and do worksheets all day. We are seat-learners, I guess you could say. Ethan, on the other hand, prefers to work with his hands. He needs visual aids, too. The more reinforcement the better, and learning better be fun or he's not going to pay much attention. He's getting better at doing some of the necessary writing, but it's not his favorite by any means. At first I struggled with not having as many papers in hand for him at the end of the day. Silly, I know. We do a lot of science, history, etc orally and use our maps, and so forth. I'm all for handwriting practice, but I'm learning that I don't need a paper for everything he does!

Trevor wants to be loved on all the time. He wants to be in my lap, or touching my hair, or crawling over my back. If he's physically on us, then he's paying attention. At first I thought this drive to be near us must stem from him needed more one-on-one time. Maybe that is the case at times, but it seems like his attention hole is a bottomless pit. It's a black hole. He just wants us ALL the time. If I bend over to get something, you can be sure there is a monkey ready to latch on my back! Sometimes that drives me a little nuts.

I could go on and on about what we do with our day, who likes which subject best, and how we do our experiments... but I will save that for another survey!
Signing off!