A Life of Gratitude

I'm not waiting anymore.
I'm not waiting for the perfect time, the larger house, the bigger van, a time when laundry is done, or when the kids are older.
I'm not waiting for joy.
I'm not waiting until the dishes are done to say, "okay, now I can be happy and do what I want. Now it's 'all good'."

I'm not waiting to fit in, or hoping I say the right things to the right people.

I'm thankful, guys.

I thought I was thankful before, but like Ann points out, "slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything in my life leaves me deeply thankful for very few things." It's so true.

And there is so very much to be thankful for. So many amazing blessings every day to see, recognize, name, and receive. So much that I was overlooking, in a quest to get enough done.


There were so many things that I was missing entirely...
like deep-royal specked wildflowers under my feet...
and dew drops on daffodil leaves...
little dirty toddler nails, after my "baby" helped me garden today...

the reflection of the sky in her eyes...

food to grow!! Okay, I've always noticed and been thankful for this, but today was one of my Planting Days (in containers that can still be moved in when/if the weather turns bad) and I must mention this!!

and the opportunity to try new things, like growing grapes (!!!)...

more wildflowers underfoot. If you look, they're everywhere. And that's the whole point, right? We don't see it, so we don't receive it as the blessing that it is. There's so much beauty here. For us. Notice it.

ever-bearing strawberry plants already producing (Atwoods sells them, friends!) ...

and, certainly not last today, I saw a bee flying from flower to flower. In my (much) larger image, I can see all the pollen collected on his underbelly and legs. It's *amazing*~ there just aren't words to describe the miracles that happen around us, unnoticed, all the time.

I'm trying to notice.

In fact, we made a Eucharisteo jar for our home. More about that soon, promise.

New Camera CLICK

Weeeeeeeewooooohoooooo!!Even near-freezing temps and a cold can't put a damper on this excitement. My new camera came today, along with all the fun accessories and lenses. I'm stoked, folks. After sprinting out to meet the UPS guy (yes, I did!) and signing for my package, I did my happy dance all the way back in. Poor dude probably thought I was having a seizure.

I'll be honest. This was a tough decision for me. As much as I love all things art, which certainly includes photography, spending the money on a new camera was not easy. I'm not a spender. But, at the urging of my uber-supportive-(spender) husband, I bought it. He had to bug me about it for two weeks before I placed the order. Not even kidding. And now I'm determined to earn the money back, so we can actually have a savings account.

I'm okay with it now. I prayed about it until I felt at peace with my "shopping cart" ...and now I've been given some new wings to take off with.

My plan? Naturally, I'll take thousands upon thousands of pictures of crooked grins

sun-kissed faces

and blue-green dancing eyes

(my fourth kiddo was at a neighbor's during my photo frenzy!)

and my every day blessings, like quilted pot holders

tiny wooden signs

...my kitties nestled in warm patches of sunlight, fresh baked bread taken from the oven, barefoot feet running through puddles, muddy hands reaching out to grab me, my vegetables riping in the steaming summer air...

and my etsy stuff...
but I also plan to use it for groups. Such as the NWA Mommies Group. And the Harvesters' Group. And my Cooking Club. My church. My son's gymnastics and daughter's horseback riding. And Homeschool group. (Did I join too many things?!)
And I have an idea... that maybe... I don't know... maybe I can offer pictures to mommies who come to the pregnancy center? Maybe they'll see what an amazing, precious blessing they have coming? Maybe we can have some newborn portraits up in the ultrasound room? Something to remind these precious women that there are ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers that need to be kissed and loved. And the children at the shelter.... maybe it would help if they had hanging pictures of themselves, smiling, up in the halls? A place like home...but safe.

A place to belong, if only for awhile.

That's when I felt peace. Everything we have, in some way, can be poured out.
I love the lyrics "every blessing You pour out, I'll turn back to praise."

Ah. Just a little ecstatic and thoughtful tonight. Hope your day has been full of many blessings, great and small.

The girl will wear ruffles!

I won THIS amazing ruffled skirt, custom made, with my choice of fabrics...

...for this beautiful girl....

Exciting!

I love you, Scarbaby!

She will be one of my first subjects when the new camera arrives.

I said wh- what?

Oh, yes-- NEW CAMERA.

Exciting stuff, I tell you!

(TIP: If you own a Canon and it's broken, use the Canon Loyalty Program to upgrade!)

March SIX

You know, 12 years ago I intended to take pictures of myself every month, as my stomach grew and bulged, nestling my first child.
Then I intended to take pictures of my baby girl in the same place every month, to show how fast she was growing. Same thing 10 years ago when I was expecting my first son. And then 7 years ago when I was pregnant with our surprise-to-me baby boy. And even 4 years ago when I was expecting the "caboose child." Well, by gosh, intentions just aren't good enough. I have a lot of pictures, but no month-by-month photos showing the growth and changes of my children.

Until Now.

Dash (6),Little Lad (almost 4), NatureMan (9), TheArtist (11)

No more talk; it's time for ACTION.

I love Steph's idea at Adventures in Babywearing. On the 4th of every month, she takes a picture of her four! I also have 4 kids, but it's past the 4th, and I want to start now...so I'll do it on the 6th of every month, because we are a family of 6!

(and it's past the 6th because I got behind....ha)

kids exercising with me this morning,

you can catch a glimpse of my new green door behind The Artist

And so begins our Monthly Family Photos! Better late than never, right?

The "big" family - comebacks

After reading and laughing at this post from the Joyful Chaos, I realized just how many comments I've heard and filed away over these past 12 years.

Nowadays anything over 2.5 is "big family," right?
After NatureMan was born, I was told several times, "You have the perfect family, a boy and a girl so you can be done now." Yes, people actually said that out loud. As if they knew what perfect was for my family. ha. It might very well be perfect for his or hers or yours, but certainly not for everyone.

When I kept getting pregnant, the comments became:
"You know what's causing that, right?"
Depending on my mood, I'd answer:
a: "Yes, and I like it."
b. "Yes, but if YOU don't, go ask your Mom."
c. "No TV in the bedroom."
d. "Whipped cream and sleeping kids."

Or the "My, you have your hands full."
This is a tricky one, because the tone of voice and expression say a lot more than the words. I've had sweet little ladies say that in the kindest, most sincere way... and rather mean shaking-head midlifers say it in a tone that implied they would pay for my tubes to be tied.
Possible answers depend on the intention of the comment, naturally:
a. "We can’t figure out where they’re all coming from!"
b. "You should see how many I left at home!"
c. "I'd rather have them full than empty."
d. "Full hands and fuller hearts."
e. "I don't know how I survived before all these little helpers came along!"

Where I live large-ish families aren't everywhere, but they're not exactly rare either. We're in a very homeschool friendly state, and our county has more homeschoolers than any other county in AR. There's a lot of encouragement and understanding from most people. But there's always some who just can't mind their own business. Curiosity is fine and dandy, and I'm completely happy to honestly answer sincere questions... but nosiness or judgement isn't as easy to deal with.

I have 4 kids (3 boys, back to back), and I often take on a few "strays," whether it be my niece and nephew or neighbor kids or families who drop by for playdates. I've actually had people stop and ask if I run a daycare. ;)
The other day I was babysitting my sister's kids, the neighbor boy came over, and a friend and her three kids stopped by to play. My friend Tob and I chatted just fine, while 10 kids played inside and out. If anything, it was easier having them all here together-- everyone had a person to pair up with or a group to join!

Being part of a large family means there's always someone to play with...having friends with large families just doubles that fun.
I've written about the benefits of large families before. :)

Anyway, when I tote my four along I hear "the basics" a lot. The answers aren't all my own. I've scribbled them down, from time to time, to have witty comebacks to the most common questions.

Q. Are these all yours?
a. "Now why on EARTH would I take other people's children grocery shopping?"
b. "No, that one (point at kid) found me in the cereal aisle and won't leave!"
c. "Yep, and seven more at home!"

Q. Are you going to stop now?
a. (Actually we're done, but that's none of their business, so I tell them honestly) "I'd love to have more, these ones are darlings!"
b. "Nope! My husband and I are very intelligent people, and believe we should pass on these great genes as much as we can. Why did you stop having kids?" (okay, I've never actually said that, but I'm tempted!!)

I discovered several years ago that when I look like a tired, haggard mom of four, unruly children, I will be looked upon and treated like a tired, haggard mom of four, unruly children. We shouldn't live to please others or live up to their expectations, but we CAN be the best versions of ourselves. Because I'm a Dresser-Upper and I truly feel the best when I'm brushed and curled, dolled up and artsy, I try to start most days like that. When I feel good, people can tell. Which means, folks, that people can tell my kids aren't dragging me down; they lift me up. I'm so much more likely to dance when they're around, and do crafty projects, and jump on the trampoline. There are rough days, of course, but for the most part, having kids is its own best reward. And others should be able to see that in us.

Like SuzanneP said, I'm saddened for the person who sees a large family, and shakes their head. "Because I knew he would never. Never, mind you, know the joy of knowing each of those faces up there. He would never.never. be able to see them as different little people with individual personalities. I knew he would never. never. know the joy they can bring."

Garden Planning

It's that time of year. We've planted some of our seedlings indoors, fruit trees are being ordered, and my vegetable & herb gardens are plotted.

This time around, with my littlest one almost 4-years old, I'm going to do more "Kid Gardening" stuff.

We want to make:

bean teepees, but with multi-colored heirloom beans, ordered from Botanical Interests.

sunflower house, which I've tried before, but someone *cough* mowed over my flowers, by mistake!

Cucumber trellis (I plan to do the A-frame, to make a tunnel of sorts!)

That means I have some wood to buy and building to start. The kids will help plan, measure, hammer (what boy doesn't love that?!) I'm tellin' you, this is the best way to sneak in extra learning in the afternoons!

Then there's the Gardening Journal, which goes perfectly with our Charlotte Mason hands-on science! Don't miss all of her printable forms at the bottom!

We're also going to do a small butterfly garden, and a seed-starting experiment with baseball sleeves hung in the windows.

Any other ideas??

Good News!

In case you didn't already get the news from me directly, or on facebook tonight--
Amy got her kidney scan review back and all signs point to her being healthy, and there is no reason for concern. The small lump of tissue is just that and not anything to be worried about!!
No more cancer!
Thank you all for your prayers.
Her surgery this morning went well, no complications. She is at home now, tired, and has plenty of pain meds. Recovery period of 6 weeks - no lifting, which will be hard when this little guy is around...

Again, thank you for your prayers.

I often take our health for granted, until something major comes up.

Love you, Amers!