working through submission

Sometimes something in my life will click into place so well, that I don't know how I ever functioned without that piece of the puzzle. Art journaling is that piece. I have this need to create, hence four children and numerous crafty endeavors. And, because I love to read but tend to have a poor memory, I take lots of notes. I think on paper, sorting and sifting through what I've read and what I believe. It's my own form of meditation, to keep me on course. Anyone else get sidetracked by stray thoughts when praying? But, for me, merely writing (eek, writers, don't cringe!) is just not enough to keep me going. I need to be making something in the process, or my true feelings and thoughts cannot be expressed....In this case, it's about submission.
Submission to the way of Christ is a struggle that I face in my daily life, yet it is also the path of freedom, healing, and intimate relationship. But from children and their parents or teachers, to employees and their boss to the citizens and their government, people struggle with submission to authority.
My problem? I'm fleshy. Like Paul says, "For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me."
Ack. It's not just the "big submission things" that I have to deal with (homeschooling was hard -- LOVE it now, but it was sure a scary decision for me!) but the daily handing over. I am an over-reactor. So the act of submission for me has to be constant. I'm working on that. And sometimes it simply hurts to be pulled the right way. Yet I know I would yank my child back by the collar if he stepped into the road. I love him. And thank God He does the same for me.

Often my hardest lessons are when I'm the only one attending class. It's about that One-on-one time.
Ta for now.