Recently...

My Mom ("Noni") came to visit. These boys love her to pieces.

I bought a juicer and started juicing!

The breakfast I had yesterday, below, consists of 1 peeled orange, 1 red bell pepper, 3 carrots, ½ peeled lemon. YUM!  

And I finished painting my living room and kitchen--

WHITE!

A big blank beautiful canvas for my crazy colored dishes and decor!

Evolving Family

These holidays have been different. Good, but very different.

We celebrated with my "sister" October, the day before Thanksgiving. She came, and spent the day with our family, eating and playing games. I've known October and her twin sister November for nearly as long as I've been married. Tob has no family in the area, and my family has adopted her in. :)

We took turns having kids for several years (until my husband finally said, "now one of you has to stop it!") so there's a whole gaggle of stair-step munchkins.

Our neighbor girls decided to join the fun, too.

Whenever we start up a fire in the backyard, kids appear from nowhere!

These two were so sweet, with their artwork, and team-game-playin'.

 It was relaxed, sweet, just like having my sister and her kids over.

On Thanksgiving, we went to my Dad's house.

This was our first Thanksgiving to celebrate separately with my parents, which was strange.

It was good. Just different.

My Mom left right after Thanksgiving last year, and the divorce was finalized a few months later.

 The family evolves. Things change.

We had a wonderful time, eating and playing games, and generally just having a goofy good time!

(My Dad with his three daughters, two sons-in-law, and seven grandchildren)

 The next day, we were off to Fred's dad and stepmom's house.

Yes, divorce always changes things. His parents divorced when he was 13, and it was a real mess. Very rough on him, and still seems to cause more pain than my parents' recent divorce.

Sometimes divorce makes things better (yes, I believe this)

and sometimes it simply makes them harder.  

We celebrated with his Dad (right), two of his sisters, cousins & aunt and uncles, nieces and nephews, and even a random guy I didn't know (center.) It was relaxing, delicious, less dramatic than it's been in the past.

All good things.

Fred and I spent some time winding down in the guest/playroom with the little ones.

 I love this Spanish alphabet puzzle!

They've had it for years...I think she said they got it from a yard sale?

Such a neat treasure!

 We saw Fred's Mom the following day, but I was too distracted to take pictures. My bad.

(...but she doesn't like having her picture taken, so it's probably for the best!)

On Sunday (yes, we were going 5 for 5!!) we drove to my Mom's house, about an hour away. I've only been there twice, and actually had to mapquest the address.

It's a beautiful home, and she's done so much with it.

There were new traditions, to establish the new family situation.

My Mom served pork rather than turkey. She's always been a fan of bucking custom. ;)

We played cards rather than board games.

Relaxed, drank wine, watched movies, played outside.

 Me, my Mom, sister Julie, sister Amy

Celebrating with four sets of parents isn't easy.

We tried to plan as early as possible to avoid overlaps. 

We made a schedule and let everyone know what we would be doing. Every home had a day.

We made it a holiday weekend, rather than one insane day to zip around celebrating.

 We tried to see everyone, but it's simply not always possible.

Fred isn't close to his stepbrothers and sisters, and they don't live around us,

so we rarely see them, even around the holidays.

We made it a priority to see parents and grandparents, sisters and brothers.

We made time for fun and relaxing.

 Isn't my niece gorgeous? She's like a little fairy child!

 And this precious little nephew of mine is so happy, so hilarious!

Ahh, and here's my girl. My teenager.

The amazing kid who studied geography when she was finished with her meal!

It's different now, but good. We saw this coming. We knew it was over.

And, honestly, I'm thankful.

It was less stressful this year than it's been in the past.

Both of my parents are happy.

Sometimes things fall apart so they can be put back together differently...better... healthier.

And I'm thankful for that. For the lives they have now, apart.

I'm thankful that Thanksgiving was truly full of thanks, on all sides. 

I'm thankful that no one pulled us around; everyone was flexible.

I'm thankful that my children saw smiling, truly joyful grandparents, not underlying stress and drama.

I'm also thankful for all of my childhood memories of Thanksgiving, which were full of happiness.  

Yes, this was a busy, very different Thanksgiving for us, but good. 



Changes...reconciling...

Have you ever met someone so REAL, that you just wished you could let loose and be like that? To totally step out into the light and still be embraced? To say, "yeah, sometimes I'm supermom...and sometimes I am totally NOT."

That's what I'm feeling. And I'm wondering how many other women feel the same way?

Do you go through spurts making crafts and doing fun projects with your kids 24/7....and then several weeks where you can't muster a single puppet from a paper bag? I do.

One of my best friends (my sister) pointed out the other day that I tend to get snappy when I'm emotionally bothered by something else. **Ding, ding** Well, of course. That makes sense. Even when I'm not thinking about "the issues," it's a battle under the surface. (It's great to have someone who will call me out on it when I'm acting like a jerk.)

I wish sometimes that I could be "real enough" to share things that bother me, without fearing what others will think. I just want to blurt things out sometimes. And still get a hug later.

I'm well aware that I'm being irritatingly vague. Sorry.

Life is good. My camera (yeah, the freakin' awesome one) recently broke, which brought me to tears a few times. We'll get it fixed. We will. Fred said so.

I am so very grateful for my children. My home. The warmth and food. The health. I'm so thankful. Fred has a job now, and I am so thankful for all these things. Our lives hold so much joy.

The issues we're dealing with are big, emotional burdens....a lot of "what-if"s, but it will not steal our joy.

I guess, in my tired rambly state, I'm really just trying to say that I don't know how to reconcile the "supermom" with the "loser mom," which is how I feel when I get snappy and tired, unproductive, or just kinda "down" about things. I don't want to only post the fun stuff. I also want to post the real issues. Maybe I need tougher skin. I'd like to talk to someone else who has a slow learner child, someone who can reassure me that he'll be okay. That he'll catch up someday and, even if he doesn't, that it'll be alright. I'd like to talk about my parents' pending divorce and my thoughts about it. But I can't do that. I'd like to seek advice about my 4-year old who calls his brothers "losers" when he gets mad, and says "I hate you," and how that makes me feel like a terrible mother. Even though I know I'm not. And I know he's a wonderful child, usually very sweet and loving. But I've never had one do this before and I just don't know what to say/do to handle it. Usually I simply say, "well, it's fine if you're feeling that way, but I always love you," and then we try to take deep breaths. But still the words haven't lost their appeal to him and my methods don't seem to be working.

Sooo. I think my plan/early New Year's Resolution is to step out a little. Do the one thing every day that scares me, like Eleanor Roosevelt suggested. If God's going to wash the "yuck" away, then I can't keep burying it. Right? Right. Sharing some things is okay. Hiding behind projects all the time is not so okay. At least not for me.

To end on a good note, Fred is off work for the next 10 days! I'm looking forward to plenty of family games, yummy food, Christmas celebrations (even if it will be different this year,) and excuses to dress up. I do love dress-up!! ;) It pains me to think of going through holidays without my camera, but it's certainly doable! I want to get rid of these extra emotional burdens and just focus my energy on the four little people that I've been blessed with.

May you and yours have an amazing Christmas, truly celebrating the Reason for the Season!

Meet Edward, new monster on the block

My Mom makes the most awesome monster dolls. This is our newest addition, Edward.

Isn't he just so cute?? That blue bumpy material on the front is soo-oo soft, and there's brown fur on the back. But my favorite thing is the long DoTteD ears. :-) He has won a place on my couch.

Wanta find out how to make softies? Here's a great link with some free patterns. Now go have fun!

Coal, we will miss you

Coal

It is with deep sadness that I announce the death of my parents' beloved dog, Coal,
a Black Lab, son of champions and friend to anyone he met.
Avid runner& hiker, strong and beautiful.
He adored his best friend, Sally. She stayed with him until the end.

You will be deeply missed but never forgotten.
Love, Wendy

Okay, I know this doesn't sounds like me. I'm not a big "animal person."
I don't love the smell, hair on my clothes, barking...
but I still have a soft heart towards them, even if I don't own one.
Sally and Coal were great together.
They were fun, energetic,
great for my kids,
running partners for my folks.
I felt better knowing that my Mom was out with her big dogs, not all alone.

Proof that dogs are good for the soul

But let me back up. I'm just going to copy in an email I wrote to a friend, to make this faster and easier:
On Saturday my parents' dogs disappeared. The gate was shut, and there were no clues.

This morning my parents checked the animal shelter and the lab rescue, but no luck. Then we had a tip from a friend this afternoon, but it didn't pan out either. The dogs were not my mom's. While my mom was checking out that lead, another friend stopped by here and said that he had spotted two dogs (one that was down.) I went to check it out myself, because I didn't want my mom to find one of her dogs dead. Sure enough, it was them. :-(
Sally was okay-- just tired, cold, hungry....she wouldn't leave her sidekick Coal, who must have been hit. I didn't get too close. I had all four kids with me, and it was difficult to hold on to one large black lab, and call my mom on the cell phone. My poor mom. This has been a rough day on her. She got Sally home and then went back to make sure that Coal was not suffering. He wasn't. She was able to say her good-byes....came back sobbing. I feel so sad for her.

This is on the heels of an already emotional day.

While Mommy is away, the grandparents and kids will play.

On the first day of my retreat, my folks helped hubby out by taking the three older kids out of town to the aquarium. This was their second time to go, and they loved it. Just seeing the pictures my Mom took reminds me of the wonderful summers I had in California.
Someday, Lord willing, I want to take them all to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. How I love that place!

Dash watches the sting rays swim by.

The Naturalist waits for the scuba diver to appear and feed the sharks.

The three kids ride a stony-faced gator. The Nature Man, of course, goes in for a better look!

Can any child resist sand?

Silver Dollar City

Our little mini-vacation to Branson was about a week ago. The first day was pretty bad. It rained and rained on us. Try walking four little kids around in the pouring rain ALL DAY. They close the rides during storms, so we just stuck to shows, shopping, and eating.

Isabelle looked darling in her Mimi-made skirt, athletic shoes, pink jacket, braid, and polka-dot umbrella. I'm so thankful that she still looks like my little girl. :-)It did finally clear up towards the end of the day, the the kids rode the Lost River ride and some others.

We were able to ride the train, too.

The hotel was HORRIBLE. Seriously, I've never stayed in such a bad place. The carpet was coming away from the wall at the bathroom entrance, and Fred hurt his foot. The room was tiny, with two queen beds crammed in, and one tiny window near the door. And I mean, it was so small and high-up that the kids couldn't even see outside. Argh. I'm a light person!!

There was no shampoo in the bathroom, and no phone book or directory in the room. Man, am I spoiled or was this just really crummy? And no breakfast in the morning-- not even continental.

What really gets me is that I checked this place out. I looked online at pictures, read customer reviews, checked prices.... how could we have such a horrid experience when others seemed to like it so much? Huh.


Anyway, my parents met us there the second day, and the weather was beautiful. Fred rode every ride in the park, and he dragged the bigger kids or my mom along with him. Isabelle and Ethan both rode Thunderation, and hated it. Isabelle and Trevor both rode American Plunge. Isabelle went twice and wanted to go again. My kids aren't very brave, so this totally took me by surprise!

It ended up being a wonderful mini-vacation b/c the second day trumped the first one so well! We did decide to head home after that, though. Who wants to stay in Hotel H*ll, when driving home is just 2 hours away. Andmy precious grandparents were still in town. I'd rather have time with them anyway! :-)

Haven't seen it, can't play Scene It

All of my family came over Friday night: my parents, sisters Julie and Amy and their husbands and the kids. We ate salad, pizza, chocolate eclairs, leftover VDay chocolates, cookies, rootbeers... and coffee. Yep, even after 10pm, we were all chugging down cups of joe. We're a coffee-lovin' family. Of course, after lunchtime I can only have decaf, or I'll be up all night. It was a regular gorge fest, plus games.

We started out just chowing down while we watched He-Man. Yep, you heard right. Hubby just ordered the first 6 (?) DVDs of He-Man and he has already gotten the boys obsessed with it. It's not at all unusual now for me to see Trevor bounding down the hallway in his batman mask, Spiderman pjs, holding his light saber, shouting "by the power of gray skull." Then Ethan declares that he is He-Man and Trevor can be battle cat.

At first I was like, whoooaa now, there are some things in this cartoon that I don't like. The women dress like...well, just not like women should dress. And the skull face bad guy just isn't something I really like. But I decided to back off. Fred is the Daddy. He was a boy and now he's become a great father...and who am I to deprive his boys of He-Man?

Apparently Fred was not the only once-obsessed little boy. My brothers-in-law, Adam and Vu, were glued to the screen as soon as they walked in. I heard lengthy conversations about how He-Man was like Superman, and how Adam always got to be He-Man because of his name (like Clark Kent is Superman, Adam is really He-Man, for those who need a refresher!) It was quite amusing.

After we peeled the men from the cartoons, we started Scene It. Ha! I don't watch TV. I don't watch movies. Is there any doubt that I would totally stink at this game? In my own defense, though, I did get ONE answer right! What little blue fish sings "just keep swimming, just keep swimming?"...

...well, Dory in Finding Nemo, of course! Yea for me! ;-)

After the awful beating I took in that game, we moved on to Nerts (is that right, Julie?) It's a card game, played with four decks of cards. It's fast-paced, and was much more my style.
You know things are getting serious when Fred and Vu turn their hats around!

Adam and I won that game. Julie declared that it was more my kind of game. (yeah, one with no questions, right?? Heh heh)

Anyway, it was so much fun. I love to play games. I'm so grateful to be close to my family, and see them all often.

Christmas Christmas- The actual day

Ready for one more?
Okay, here is the breakdown of Christmas Day. First we open gifts at our home and then we head to my folks' at about 9am.

So, The kids woke us up at 5:20. No surprise there. We ate a light breakfast, and stayed in our PJs. My parents decided to do a pajama theme this year, so that made things easy. We just packed clothes to change into later.

Fred and I talked to the kids (again) about the real meaning of Christmas. We showed them a video clip from The Visual Bible Matthew. We had already read them the story the night before. They do the question and answer fairly enthusiastically, which always kinda surprises me... I always worry that they'll be too focused on the unopened gifts sitting a few feet away.

Fred always hands the gifts out one at a time, so we can see what everyone opens. I really like that. My Dad did it when we were growing up, too. The kids need to take pleasure out of what each person receives, and it's also nice for them to watch others open the gifts they had made. The first time I did Christmas with Fred's mom I was shocked that they all just wake up and do a mad dash for the gifts. There is no story, no breakfast together, no savoring the time or ...anything. No traditions whatsoever. I did not realize that people really "celebrate" that way.

So, anyway, I'm very thankful that my husband has started these routines for our family. Isabelle even stopped after every gift and hugged and thanked us. Including after she opened a crossword puzzle book from her stocking. :-) So cute. Trevor was the only one saying "I want to open more presents. More!" Little rascal.


So, 9am we headed off to Mom and Dad's. My sisters and their families were already there. Mom had made a big breakfast of biscuits and gravy and eggs. We all took our time, ate food and drank coffee. We're a coffee lovin' family, let me tell you.






Julie and I put our babies down for naps and then we all gathered in the living room for my Dad to read the Christmas story. This was the second year that he's read it from his Palm Pilot. Ha. The age of technology. I should have taken a picture.

Then Dad passed out the gifts. The grown-ups alternate between opening their own gifts and helping the kids. It's so much fun to spend Christmas with my family. After all of the opening and cleaning was done, we spent some time looking over and enjoying our presents. The kids got new games and books and music and cameras....lots of stuff to keep them busy for awhile.



After lunch (lasagna and homemade bread and salad... YUM) we played games. Another family tradition. First we played Balderdash. I stink at that game, but I always enjoy it anyway. It was the new one, with movie titles (you have to come up with a convincing synopsis), People, Acronyms, Weird Words, etc. I believe my Dad won that game. And I did NOT come in last! Woo-hoo!




Next we played Cranium. I love it! We drew names for teams. Wouldn't you know that Fred and I ended up together! Neither of us were thrilled. Ha, ha. I guess we're both sick of losing. At least Amy and Vu were on different teams. They kill us when they play together. So that was great, too, despite the many distractions from 6 kids. No one minded, and the kids took it all in stride, too. They'd play on Noni's team for awhile and then switch. ;-) Adam and Vu ended up winning. And, again, we did NOT come in last. YEA! I guess you can tell that I'm really not ultra-competitive.

We had three fun Christmases, and today was our back-to-normal day. We did another room-by-room cleaning. That means we clean one room together, then eat a piece of chocolate and take a 20 minute play break. Then we move on to the next room. We clean as fast as we can for 20 minutes (I set the timer.) It works wonders and we're all happy. I don't know who looks forward more to the chocolate, me or the kids! It's itty bitty pieces, btw.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!! Jesus is the reason for the season and we are the reason for Jesus. Thank you, God!!