IF you could do anything....

I haven't updated in two months but, really, not a lot has changed. The house is on the market. Within 48 hours, we had an offer and accepted. From there, though, things fell apart. Our buyers couldn't get their financing and, like happens so often, the deal was off and our house went back on the market. Things are looking good, though, with multiple showings a week. I'm confident that it will sell quickly, and we'll be on our merry way.

This whole venture is out of our comfort zone. I mean, who has four kids and just up and moves across the country? (Okay, not clear across the country, but a good 900+ miles away, so it counts in my book.) So what started it all? One day I thought, "What would we do, if we could do anything? Where would we go?" followed shortly by, "....and why can't we?" So there you have it. We discussed, prayed, strategized, and starting making moment-by-moment choices that would lead us on that path. Because sometimes you just have to ask yourself, "where do we want to be in 5 years?" and make the necessary adjustments.
Otherwise, obviously, you will rarely get where you aim to be.

 Nothing will change in your life if you don't do something different from what you have been doing.

E. Perry Good

 

Sometimes it's the little things that we need to take control of, or alter. But occasionally those moments come along, when you are meant to just DO something big, something kinda crazy, to totally alter the course. Our lives here have been wonderful, with good friends and family surrounding us. It's just simply not where we're meant to be. And when you know, you just know. It is time.

 

I'm trying so hard to live purposefully now, while we're in limbo. Honestly, it feels like our life is on hold....hold ....hold....elevator music while we hold our breaths and wait for the new chapter to begin. I don't want to miss life as it happens NOW, though.

I want these moments remembered, captured, preserved. Sometimes-- probably most often-- the waiting is what reveals the most, and develops us. It's a game now, of bouncing our minds back to the present when preoccupation with the future threatens to take over, or worry rears its ugly head.

We've even had to remind the kids over and over, that now is where we are, and now is what will continue to be in the forefront of our minds. Like it or not, we all live in the now.

It's amazing watching kids work out their experiences through play. A friend of mine was just discussing this, in regard to her preschoolers playing "tornado" after the recent Oklahoma tornadoes, and threat of tornadoes here.

My kids, however, play "moving to Texas." I kid you not. My Littlest Guy will set up the dollhouse (naturally surrounded by dinosaurs, to stand guard) and the extra stuff is "put away because they're moving to Texas." Cracks.Me.Up.
Their talk and explanations often follow, "....when we move..." And, yes, we talk about it. We plan and hope and dream. We know the grass isn't greener, it's just "for us." We know there will be obstacles, and we talk about these, with each other, and with the kids. I just don't want it to consume us. Job change, house change, state change, even climate change. It's big for us. But we've gotta take it day-by-day.
The plan for our summer: Trust, Enjoy, eXpect great things, Act accordingly, and Savor the moment.

 



Dreaming Big & Moving On

I've been absent from blogland for awhile and, if you don't keep up with me via facebook, you may not know why. So here it is:
We're planning to move.
We are working every waking moment to get this house flawlessly cleaned, painted, decluttered and staged, to be put on the market by the end of the month. Yeah. Swallow that down.
We're dreaming big, people. Texas big.
My great-aunt wrote and asked me why. Do we have family there? Does Fred have a job there? Friends? She's kind-hearted. Just curious.
But the answers are:
No, no, and no.
So why?
Because it's our dream. It always has been.
I've wanted to move farther south for about as long as I can remember.
I don't do winters well, friends.
I suffer from S.A.D. in a big way. ((For my well-meaning friends, let me assure you, it's not something you can turn off and on. I can't snap and feel okay. I can't think of those less fortunate and suddenly feel all warm inside because I have a home.))
Symptoms can be treated with special lights, medication, etc, but why treat the symptoms when you can help fix the problem?
Besides winter-onset-depression being an issue, our favorite activities are seasonal, and we only get to enjoy them about 6 months out of the year now. Moving to a climate that runs 20 degrees warmer in the winters is a HUGE incentive. Aaanndd, think about how much closer we'll be to the coast!! {sigh}
We've waited, guys. A very long time. I've been married almost 16 years. Lived in our first little starter home for 10 1/2 years. It's been a patient wait. We've been happy here. Maybe a little crowded, but happy. And, really, it never felt too crowded until it was too cold to go outside. We've waited and we've waited, because the time wasn't right.
Suddenly this year, it "felt" right. We knew. And then pieces started fitting together. It was as if they were magnetically drawn towards each other, just pulling and clicking into the right spots. Both of my parents started dating. My Papaw plans to move to NC when my aunt does. Suddenly these things that I was feeling responsibility for were taken care of (yes, I'm an Oldest Child.)
Then Fred said "yes." He's always hesitated before. It wasn't the right time. But now, although nervous about it, he is excited and on-board.
We started submitting applications and resumes, and got immediate responses, phone interviews. The jobs are there. Started looking around at homes. The costs are comparable. Suddenly it was no longer just a dream, but a plan. A PLAN.
Because, really....why not?
Why do people stay in jobs they hate? Or live where they'd rather not live?
Whatever the reasons, I'm not okay with that. I want to pursue my dreams. At the very least, I can say I did. I tried.
So, for the time being, everything but school and "house stuff" has been put on hold.
We are pursuing a dream.
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success.”


― Henry David Thoreau

“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

― Michelangelo Buonarroti

“If you're bored with life, if you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things, you don't have enough goals.”

― Lou Holtz
“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.”

― Napoleon Hill


“Patience is not passive waiting. Patience is active acceptance of the process required to attain your goals and dreams.”

― Ray Davis
These are a few of my inspiration quotes. Above all, I feel that this is God's plan for us, and He is directing us. I feel secure in that, and know that He is far more able than I am to work out the details.
Pray for us? Support us emotionally? Even if you don't fully understand why we'd uproot and move, we'd appreciate your love and support. We all walk different paths. I believe this is part of ours. :)

In the sunshine

My Girl took these photos, during our family hike on Sunday.

You can't tell now, what with snow crusting the ground,

but Sunday was absolutely gorgeous--

sunny and warm enough to remove jackets while scaling the hills.

 She captured some peaceful scenes along the way.

I love that she loves to see and capture the beauty around her.

She caught us examining crevices in the bluffs...

 She got some good shots of her little brothers...

 ...and snuck some of me, while I snapped my own pics.... ;) ...

 So, of course, I did the same, and caught her taking pictures.

This has become a family affair, and I LOVE that!

 I'm trying to spend as much time outside as possible, whenever the weather permits.
Winters are so very hard for me. I despise being cold. I NEED sunshine in a serious way. In fact, I'm thinking seriously again about a way to leave here every winter. This area is amazing for most of the spring, all of the summer, and the first part of fall.... but the dreary wet cold winters are simply painful.
Thanking God for every sunshiny day we get, especially when the temps climb high enough for family fun like this.
Love this random pic, below, with my kidlings and Man, all looking and going a different direction. It was the perfect spot for our afternoon, with plenty of room to explore, climb, slide down, and dig for rocks.

Chores are the key

I was getting all overwhelmed the other day, trying to keep up with everything there is to keep up with. May have had something to do with the fact that one of my sisters was sent to the hospital with pneumonia last weekend. She's doing a ton better now, but really had us all worried for awhile.

Her white blood count was up over 20K. Crazy. Scary.

So I was all overwhelmed and a little weepy, and it didn't help when I made my To Do list for the next day. I forget things easily, so this is a standard nightly activity for me.

Anyway, I crumbled up and threw away the first list, as it was simply ridiculous. And decided to make a NEW list, of everything that *should* be accomplished in a day. Not things that MUST get done, like eating (wish I could add it to my To-do list, just to check another item off, but that kinda seems like cheating...), but rather things like sweeping and dishes. It won't kill me if it's left undone, but it'd be a lot nicer and more relaxed if these things happened.

Then I divvied up that list!

Why hadn't I done that before? I don't know.

The kids have always been expected to tidy their own rooms, put clothes away, etc, but the vast majority of house stuff was falling on me and I wasn't keeping up well.

After dividing the list, I wrote each child his/her own list, stuck them in page protectors, taped them on the fridge and-- voila-- daily checklists, to use with dry erase markers. Nothing fancy.  

Every day, everything on their list must be checked off.

So NOW, I have a kindergarten who vacuums every morning, scrubs the bathroom sinks and counters, takes out the recycling; a 2nd grader who empties all trashes, straightens the living room, and so on; a 5th grader who empties the litter box (ew, I know, but it's good for him to learn!) sweeps the living room and kitchen, gathers dirty laundry, etc. The 7th grader does the most- help with dishes, start laundry, sort and fold laundry, etc.

The best part? Most of them LIKE lists. They LIKE checking off their chores. (Well, except for that stubborn middle boy who doesn't care, but he doesn't need to like it to do it. Such is life.)

Look at that happy munchkin, feeling such a sense of accomplishment.

Makes me happy, folks!

(and, yeah, it's February and he's wearing a Halloween shirt. Whatev'.)

The "free time" we ALL have now in the evening is wonderful!

I don't sit still well, and without laundry to fold during a movie, I found other fun things to do. I painted myself a simple little "Laugh" sign for the kitchen, and papered the inside of my cabinets!

Simple, easy, fun. My favorite kind of activity!

I really, really like having my fun dishes visible now! {happy sigh}

The Texas internal debate

I love Texas.

However, we've decided (or re-decided) NOT to pursue moving there.
Which, let me tell you, is tough.

I love their laws, their oceans, their heat.
I love the art and quirky shops along the Riverwalk.
I love St. John's Island, and South Padre Island.
We have had wonderful vacation after wonderful vacation there!!

I passionately love the ocean.
I went through a lot of internal debate (naturally, in the form of doodling.)

Are you tired of the big city?

Yes? Move to Texas!

No? Move to Texas!

Because, ya know, it has the best of both worlds.

Even a little debate going on here, for football fans (which I really am not, but this was a husband-convincing-measure. He may not love the Cowboys. He may not love the Longhorns. But, boy, does he dislike the Sooners, and that right there could almost be reason enough for a Texas move!)

Need an ocean? Move to Texas!

Seriously, Port Aransas was fabulous.

South Padre was AMAZING.

The ocean beckons me with her siren song.

But, after much soul-searching, and self-examination....

We've come to realize that, while TX is an amazing vacation spot for our family, our hearts are here among the Ozarks, the rolling hills and lush green beauty of the Natural State.

All the things we love-- camping, hiking, caving, rafting, mountain climbing....it can all be done right here, right out our own back door. And THIS is wonderful. I don't want to take it for granted. Everyday with this kind of beauty around me, is a kind of dream in itself.

Oh, yeah. This is where it's at.

This is where we've made our home, and will continue to explore the amazing wilderness around us.

Texas, you are fabulous, and we'll still visit often.

 

sketchbook resolutions

I really didn't make any new resolutions for the New Year, but thought now would be a good time to repost this list that I made on my last birthday: 33 Things to do before I'm 33.

I've completed a lot of these things-- like finishing the playroom floor, taking the whole family camping more often, getting most of my teeth fixed, eating more sushi. ;) Random, I know.

I also planted another tree

(but it died, so I don't really think that ought to count towards my goal, eh?)

We spent a weekend in Salem, AR, with Fred's extended family. I tried a new hair color (brighter red than I've gone before, at Fred's request.)

And-- the one I consider most important-- we've been "paying it forward."

We are so blessed; We have been given so much in this life.

So much more than most of the world. We're always provided for, always have food and shelter, enough clothing, plus all of the frivolities, like entertainment, jewelry, games. I want our family to be a giving, helping, acts-of-kindness kinda family. We're working towards that, more every day.

And, also, learning to receive.

Isn't it always so much easier to be on the giving side? It is for me. But just this past week, when we were so sick, a single mom brought us a big pot of homemade soup, crackers, desserts, even antibacterial spray.

It was so amazing. Humbling. Hard to accept, really, but so appreciated.

And, boy, that was darn good soup!!

Having this sketched out, in my book, is a much better reminder for me than just typing it up. Ah, the tangible benefits of visual processing. I ought to do this far more often than I've managed to lately.

And, no, I haven't gotten around to #24 yet. Sigh. No one enjoys getting her boobs checked.

Art Journaling and remembering

Today we celebrated my Man's birthday. I'm so thankful for him, for his quirky humor and frank honesty. I'm thankful that I learned to look beyond my own narrow perceptions of the world, when he was brought into my life. I'm thankful for our differences, and how we came together!

We had a good day, eating out at a little surprise party for him.

Right now he's at a local wrestling event with two of the boys. I stayed home with the sleeping kindergartner, and teenager who enjoys a quiet house.

Really, I wanted to spend some time in art, hoping that it could heal or soothe a bit of the pain that will continue to carry over from yesterday.

I've journaled through some of the best, and some of the hardest, moments of my life.

Lots of processing through the years, and plenty of things worked out through that process.

 These books, stacks of them, have been my diaries, prayer journals, Bible workbooks, and unfiltered memories & thoughts.

 They've helped me with who I am, who I am growing to be, and what God plans for me.

(yep, those pictures above are of me. I am a true blond.
But, more important, I have always been passionate about art and nature.)

Just working on this, below, led to talks of how our family might change.

How we want to keep our doors and hearts open to possibilities.

Working through the "how should I feel" part of life. How do we cope? Where do we turn? Who is ultimately responsible for our happiness? How do you reconcile the beauty in this world with the pain?

It's like exercise. Often when I need it most, I have the hardest time getting going. Tonight, I NEED to draw. Even if my pen just moves across the page, it helps. 

No one draws or runs without a thought in their head. You start off, and begin processing and/or praying without realizing that "therapy" has started.

After a day in our country like yesterday, we could all use some prayer and a healthy dose of therapy.