(a pictureless post. My camera has sustained a hopefully-non-life-threatening injury)
After reading a friend's Things I Will Never Do Again List, I've decided to make my own. Although, I'm going to add the disclaimer that these are things I'm *trying* to never do again. If I screw up once or twice, I don't want to feel like a total failure...problem of a black and white thinker. I need my own backdoor system, to carry on after mistakes.
Okay, here goes.
I will try never again to...
(I'm going to copy this one, verbatim)
1) Feel spiritual guilt about taking anti-depressants. I go through this every couple of years. I am doing great on my anti-depressants, then someone comes out of the woodwork and starts pressuring me to get off of them. Starts telling me that I am just not praying enough. Or reading my Bible enough. Or allowing God to heal me. At first I blow them off. But then it starts to eat at me and I start to question. I wean off of the meds and I do fine at first. But slowly but surely, the depression creeps back. I wrestle and wrestle with going back on the meds. I finally relent. Bingo. Find myself praising God for the gift of anti-depressants and His amazing mercy. I think I will just skip that cycle from now on.
Thank you, Ellen. I couldn't agree more, and didn't want to change a single word that you wrote. I'm probably a lifer for anti-anxiety meds and, most of the time, I'm fine with that. Until a person (usually a fellow Christian woman) intimates that I'm simply not relying on God enough. Ironically, in the past the women who have suggested this would probably greatly benefit from anti-depressants themselves. Can we just accept that medication in this form is as beneficial and necessary as meds for other conditions, like diabetes and chromosomal disorders, and so on? Thank God for the right medicine to help us treat the problems of a fallen world.
2) Feel the necessity to explain my reasons for homeschooling. I don't expect others to defend the choices that they make in the best interest of their family, so why should I feel the need to explain? You do what you believe is best, and I'll do what I believe is best. If your kid has a rough day at school, I won't be the first in line to suggest you yank him out. And when I have a rough day homeschooling or my kid misbehaves, I won't listen to your suggestions of public school & defend my decisions. I don't need to explain (unless you are truly an information-seeker, or just curious, or need encouragement.) We homeschool because it works great for us and we love it. 'Nuff said.
Most people get this, but a few probably never will. (deep sigh and head shaking)
3) Put my safety (or any member of my family's safety) in danger, due to social pressure. This was also on Ellen's list, but I'm thinking specifically of what I allow my children to do. No, we do not allow spending the night with friends. Probably never will. Yes, I have my reasons. No, I don't care if every other 5th grader has sleepovers. No, I don't think that's wrong, it's just wrong for us.
I also do not allow my kids (not any of them) to ride their bikes out of my sight. Or go in the home of someone who I don't know well. No, I won't let my little boys go in a public restroom alone. Yes, that's just how we do it, because it's what's best for us. To each his own.
4) Fit into the jeans that I bought before LittleLad was born. Something about that fourth kid changed my hips. Size 2s and 4s are probably out of the question for me forever now. So be it. The clothes can go to a new home. People, I run around all day chasing little folks and I need my calories to sustain the energy! I eat healthy, but can't/won't starve myself to fit into the itty bitty jeans; I can live in a 6. Besides, I'm thinking it's a bone issue anyway. Whateva'. I got sick of trying to slim down, and instead bought more lounge pants and looser jeans.
5) Leave my cell phone outside. Okay, this is just a personal goal, after my long and unfortunate track record with water-damaged phones. I need to be more careful, more responsible, and just plain luckier!! From now on my phone will go straight from hand to charger to purse to charger... and not on the trampoline (left overnight during a storm) or in puddles, pools, or toilets any longer!
That's all for now.
Bottom line is that I'm *trying* this thing of being true to who God made me and wants me to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks. My family fits together like a beautiful puzzle...yet we sometimes try to cram the pieces in where they don't belong. Or, worse, we grab a random puzzle piece from who-knows-where and try to make that fit into this masterpiece.
That's just not going to work.
Now it's time to get off this computer and get down to business. The kids are all snuggled in bed and, although there are dishes in my sink and laundry on my couch, I'm going to paint.
But first... do you have anything you will never do again?